. all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
. refer to www.church-skits.com
A SCROOGE FACES CHRISTMAS – written by Tanis Harms
PREMISE: SAM EDWARDS is a stingy man – of his time,
. his money, and his assets. Like his
. relationships with family members,
. even the house that he loves, is falling
. into disrepair because he is too cheap
. to fix things. Because of this, he keeps
. hitting his head on a fallen beam.
. While unconscious, he envisions scenarios
. of his present, future and past,
. which cause him rethink his actions.
STYLE: drama/comedy with music
TOPIC: essence of Christmas, selfless giving
SCRIPTURE: Romans 3:21-25a
NOTES: for CAST, SET, PROPS, MUSIC
SCRIPT: INTRODUCTION
LIGHTS COME UP FULLY.
(WENDY, wearing a thick sweater and leg warmers,
struggles to put the tiny, straggly tree into a stand.
CAROLERS step onto side stage left to sing
“I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day”)
CAROLERS (sing vs. 1) I heard the bells on Christmas day
. Their old familiar carols play
. And mild and sweet the words repeat,
. Of peace on earth, good will to men.
. (vs. 2) I thought how as the day had come,
. The belfries of all Christendom
. Had roll'd along th' unbroken song
. Of peace on earth, good will to men.
. (vs. 3) And in despair I bow'd my head:
. "There is no peace on earth," I said,
. "For hate is strong, and mocks the song
. Of peace on earth, good will to men."
. (vs. 4)Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
. "God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
. The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
. With peace on earth, good will to men."
. (vs. 5) 'Til ringing, singing on its way,
. The world revolved from night to day,
. A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
. Of peace on earth, good will to men!
. 2
(Hearing the CAROLERS, WENDY cringes, then runs around
anxiously, waving her arms, hoping that the CAROLERS
will quickly go away on their own. SAM finally sticks
his body out of his office door with wild eyes.
He has to duck though, so he doesn’t hit his head
on the fallen ceiling beam, which crosses down
over the top frame of the door.)
SAM What’s all the racket? Is it that time again?
WENDY I’m sure they are almost done.
SAM Is it a long song?
WENDY Probably not.
SAM If they start up another, chase them away!
(SAM goes back into the office, ducking to miss hitting
his head on the beam that hangs from the ceiling.
WENDY paces the floor then looks at them through
the window. Conducting, WENDY speeds up the tempo.
CAROLERS sing faster, along with WENDY’S conducting,
until the song is finished. WENDY claps big without any
noise. The CAROLERS start sing one note of another song
until WENDY puts up her hands a big “stop” motion.
CAROLERS leave the side stage left.
Relieved, WENDY goes back to the tree to shift into
place. CHILDREN 1-3, who are bundled up in sweaters,
sneak down the stairs and then jump with excitement
with huge efforts to remain completely quiet.)
CHILD 1 (whispering) Can we decorate the tree now, Mom?
CHILD 2 (whispering) Please, please?
CHILD 3 (whispering) Oh pleeeaaase?
(WENDY cringes with frantic gestures, but finally caves.
WENDY puts up a ‘one moment’ finger, turns to stage left
and tiptoes to the doorway, which is SAM’S office.)
WENDY (sing-song voice) Oh Sa-am. Sam Edwards.
. Saaaamuel. Saaamuel Anthony Edwards.
(WENDY turns to CHILDREN with a smile and a funny shrug.
CHILDREN giggle, until SAM steps out in a rage, ducking
again to avoid hitting his head on the fallen beam.)
SAM Please don’t call me like that! 3
. I am not a child!
WENDY Sssorry. We’re all just wondering
. if we can all decorate the tree right now.
SAM Why are you bothering me with such nonsense?
WENDY We were hoping that you’d join us?
SAM (eyeing the tree) Where did you get the tree?
WENDY (firing off her rehearsed defense)
. I priced out all trees-in all the lots in town,
. taking distance into consideration for
. vehicle-wear-and-tear and the amount of gas
. it would use –this was the cheapest! Now...
. do we have permission to decorate it?
SAM (pauses) Just keep it quiet.
(As SAM exits to his office, with a duck to avoid
the fallen beam, WENDY and CHILDREN jump with quiet
excitement as they pull out the two boxes of decorations
from the side.)
CHILDREN (singing with whispers) Oh Christmas tree,
. Oh Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches.
. Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
. how lovely are your branches.
(WENDY and CHILDREN only are able to pull out a few
of the homemade decorations and talk about them.
They never get to decorate.)
CHILD 1 If we had some scrap paper, we could make
. a snowflake chain.
WENDY Maybe later.
CHILD 2 (laughing) Look at this one, here.
CHILD 3 It’s cute.
CHILD 2 (a little louder) But what is it?
CHILD 1 You made that for Mom in kindergarten,
. don’t you remember?
CHILD 3 What is it?
. 4
CHILD 2 (louder) It was supposed to be a reindeer.
CHILD 1 (loudly) Ha ha ha, it looks more like
. a stick dog.
CHILD 3 A sick dog?
CHILD 2 A STICK - dog.
CHILD 3 I thought you said sick.
CHILD 1 With an ear infection and sore throat.
(CHILD 1 howls funny and the CHILDREN burst out laughing.
WENDY laughs while she tries to shush them.)
CHILD 2 Is this supposed to be a snowman?
CHILD 1 It’s Frosty!
CHILD 2 After he melted?
(CHILDREN laugh again as CHILD 2 sings out loudly.)
CHILD 2 (singing) Frosty the snowman-
. had a head of mushy snow.
CHILD 3 (singing) With a melted ear –
CHILD 1 (singing) And a droopy nose –
CHILD 2 (singing) And two eyes made out of tears!
(SAM steps out abruptly.)
CHILDREN (singing) FROSTY THE SNOWMAN-
SAM I’m trying to work here!
(CHILDREN clap their hands over their mouths.)
WENDY It’s the holidays. (shoos the KIDS away)
. Okay, let’s take a break. We can finish –
. we can do this later. (seeing their sad faces)
. Maybe you can make that snowflake chain now.
. Come on, Dad needs a little peace and quiet.
. (to SAM) I thought you took some time off.
. You said you would.
(While SAM talks, WENDY puts the boxes back to 5
the side.
SAM I did. This is it. NOW - I have time to do
. the projects that I usually don’t have time
. to do because of OTHER work priorities.
WENDY Well - you can’t expect the kids to be quiet.
SAM Maybe if they understood that I’m working
. for them – so they have food, clothing
. and a roof over their heads.
WENDY That is slowly falling apart.
SAM The roof is fine!
WENDY You are so in denial.
SAM Don’t give me that psycho-babble.
WENDY Well, the kids have to be allowed to play
. at some point.
SAM Playing is for the birds!
WENDY Well, sorry that we’re such an inconvenience
. to you. Will you at least have some time
. tonight to buy some gifts?
SAM You know I hate shopping!
WENDY Well, the kids would be pleased to know that
. their father took some time out his schedule
. to do something he hated and help pick out
. their gifts. And isn’t it great that we have
. online shopping now so we can find the best
. deals – right from the comforts of our home.
Sam You and your gifts.
WENDY It’s Christmas.
SAM Christmas isn’t about getting gifts.
WENDY No, but that doesn’t mean we have to be
. completely against the concept of giving.
. Don’t you want to teach your children
. the concept of sharing and – giving?
SAM Which only promotes the attitude of wanting 6
. and getting. I am not in the business
. of raising charity cases.
WENDY What about just letting them know that they
. are special?
SAM Well, you know what the budget is for presents.
WENDY And it’s barely enough to – MAKE something.
SAM You’re creative and resourceful.
WENDY I’ve had to be. But it’s getting more
. and more challenging to think of ways to
. recreate toilet paper rolls and shoeboxes.
SAM Wendy, you know I’m not THAT bad.
WENDY Hah!
SAM Isn’t Christmas supposed to be more about joy?
. Huh? All I hear is YOU - complaining. The way
. I see it, the kids are far better off that
. they aren’t being spoiled. They don’t expect
. the world, like other children.
WENDY There is being responsible with money,
. and then there’s just being plain old cheap.
SAM So you don’t want a nest egg saved up
. for retirement?
WENDY Will we live long enough to enjoy it?
. I’m sure our children or grandchildren will?
(While WENDY is talking, there is a knock at the door.)
SAM Do you want me to chase them away?
WENDY Pardon?
SAM There’s someone at the door.
WENDY I didn’t hear the doorbell.
(There is knocking again.)
SAM I guess the doorbell isn’t working.
WENDY Will this ever get fixed? 7
SAM Knocking is just as effective! Somehow
. the pilgrims managed without doorbells.
(WENDY gasps as she lets MARILYN in.)
WENDY Oh, hi Marilyn. Come in.
MARILYN I’m here to drop off those spices you ordered.
(MARILY puts the box down on the sofa.)
MARILYN (seeing WENDY’S legwarmers) Oh, legwarmers,
. I haven’t seen those since the 80s. Trying
. to resurrect that old fashion icon?
WENDY (sarcastically) Yeesss, that’s what I’m
. trying to do - bring back the good ol’ days.
(SAM opens the box to look inside.)
SAM You ordered - spices? WHY in the world
. would you order spice?
MARILYN It’s a fund raiser. For a good cause.
(WENDY sees that SAM is about to explode.)
WENDY Don’t worry, they cost the same as if
. I bought them at the store on sale,
. plus the proceeds go to a good cause.
SAM I’m glad you’re doing your homework.
. (holds up a bag) But – this looks like
. a lifetime supply. More than a lifetime!
. It’s a waste if we never get to use it all.
(WENDY balks at the irony, which escapes SAM.)
SAM How much did you spend?
(WENDY gets embarrassed and winces a smile at MARILYN,
who looks around to find some way to change the subject.)
MARILYN Oh! I love your old house! It’s magnificent.
. So much character. A fixer-upper?
SAM (proudly) It’s been in my family for
. over 100 years.
. 8
MARILYN Well, it’s important to hang on to that.
SAM That is my plan.
WENDY Moving would cost far too much.
(WENDY winces a smile at SAM, who throws a dirty look.)
WENDY (quickly continuing) Not that I want to move.
. It’s a nice house. (gets extra smiley)
. It just needs a lot of work, is all.
MARILYN Well, it’s amazing to have such a heritage.
WENDY It would be more amazing if we’d take care
. of it properly.
SAM You just want to redecorate.
MARILYN (shivering) Wow! It feels colder in here
. than outside. Old houses, huh?
WENDY Riiight, that’s why it feels cold.
SAM The price of gas is supposed to go up again.
. Can you believe it?
MARILYN (feeling awkward) Well, I won’t keep you
. any longer.
WENDY Well, thanks for dropping this off, Marilyn.
MARILY (to WENDY) Let’s go out for coffee sometime.
WENDY That WOULD be nice.
. (after MARILYN is gone, WENDY turns to SAM)
. Well that was rude.
SAM What? Why would I do that? She’s been our best
. visitor of all time. She stayed for only –
. (checks watch) -three and a half minutes.
(WENDY shows her frustration with a few gestures.
About to leave, WENDY stops to eye him.)
WENDY Seriously, you really need to fix things
. around here. It’s getting a bit dangerous.
. I’m going to get our Christmas meatloaf started.
SAM Make sure you cut the amount of meat in 9
. half and supplement it with bread.
. (WENDY gasps loudly and stomps to the kitchen)
. What is her problem? They say the price
. of beef is going to double.
(Angry and frustrated, SAM goes to the office and
walks into the beam. Use an arm to make a thud sound.
SAM looks stunned as he reels around, falls down.)
LIGHTS DIM SLIGHTLY.
(CAROLERS at side stage left sing “Little Drummer Boy.”)
CAROLERS (singing) Come they told me
. Pa rum pum pum pum
. A new born King to see
. Pa rum pum pum pum
. Our finest gifts we bring
. Pa rum pum pum pum
. To lay before the kIng
. Pa rum pum pum pum,
. rum pum pum pum,
. rum pum pum pum
. So to honor Him
. Pa rum pum pum pum
. When we come
. Little baby
. Pa rum pum pum pum
. I am a poor boy too
. Pa rum pum pum pum
. I have no gift to bring
. Pa rum pum pum pum
. That's fit to give our King
. Pa rum pum pum pum,
. rum pum pum pum,
. rum pum pum pum
. Shall I play for you?-
. ACT 1
(SAM gets up like nothing has happened. Getting agitated,
SAM rushes over to the front door, and opens it to yell
at the CAROLERS.)
SAM No! No-no! What did I tell you all last night?
. I don’t want to be – sung to. No singing!
. 10
(CAROLERS cut off singing and leave side stage left.
WENDY comes down the stairs with two suitcases and
heads for the front door, but stops when she comes
face to face with SAM.)
SAM What are you doing? Where are you going?
WENDY Don’t worry, I switched off all the lights
. when I left the room.
SAM What are you talking about?
WENDY I’m just done. I’ve had it. There’s only
. so much a person can take. I cannot put up
. with this anymore.
SAM You’re leaving me and the kids?
WENDY No, just you! The kids are already in the car.
SAM So, you’re leaving because the price of beef
. is going up? I cannot control the stock market.
WENDY No, but you totally control the finances here.
. There isn’t any opportunity for any fun.
. And don’t tell me it’s for the birds.
SAM But why can’t you understand, I’m just being
. responsible and looking out for the family –
. to make sure you are taken care of.
WENDY Maybe you mean well, I think, but I feel
. like I’m choking. Dying, in fact. Is THAT
. taking care of us?
SAM I do without things too.
WENDY Wow! Such sacrifice! But - can it really
. be called ‘sacrifice’ if you are doing
. exactly what YOU - WANT?
SAM I just don’t want - to end up deep in debt.
. I do not want - to become a charity case,
. or someone to be pitied.
WENDY We have no debt. In fact, we have piles
. and piles of money somewhere! You are
. self-employed with a well-paying business.
SAM The market is crazy! We need to invest 11
. wisely.
WENDY Do you hear yourself? Are we not investments
. too? Are we not worth anything?
SAM I’m doing this all for you. So we can survive.
WENDY We could retire right now and survive just fine.
. But - I want to do more than just survive
. right now.
SAM So you want to be one of those women who has
. to have their nails done every week, and –
. shop for shoes and designer clothes until
. there isn’t any room in the closets?
WENDY Will you only be happy until you have saved
. and saved and saved until there isn’t any room
. in all the banks in the all world?...
. I would just be happy for clothes that didn’t
. HAVE to come from a secondhand store.
(WENDY puts on an old fashioned coat while talking.)
SAM What is wrong with recycling?
WENDY Why do you assume that I want to squander
. everything away? Can’t you see, there’s
. a happy middle there someplace between
. squandering – and hoarding.
SAM I don’t hoard.
(WENDY is about to leave, but stops.)
WENDY You keep saying that you love this house that
. you grew in, but yet, you do not maintain it.
. It is falling apart, and soon, it will collapse
. in a pile of rubble all around you.
. If you truly loved the house, you would
. make sure that it got what it needed, and
. looked – at least – respectable. I feel –
. like this house.
SAM Then you should know – that - I love you.
WENDY You didn’t hear a thing I said! Our family –
. is like this house – it is falling apart.
. You do sacrifice. You sacrifice US – for money.
. 12
(WENDY leaves through the front door. SAM becomes
contemplative and paces slowly while speaking.)
SAM Why would she leave after all we’ve been through
. and having come this far? - She’ll be back.
. She couldn’t survive on her own with that
. kind of thinking.
(SAM lies back down on the floor.)
LIGHTS COME BACK UP.
(SAM gets up rubbing his head and staggering.
WENDY suddenly peeks out from the kitchen door
and comments sarcastically.)
WENDY Did you want to come and weigh the meat
. or anything?
SAM You’re back!
WENDY Yeah, I thought I heard something. Like a bang.
. Or thud. Is everything okay?
SAM I’m hoping. I’m just wondering what you
. are doing?
WENDY (curiously) I just stuck the meatloaf
. into the oven.
SAM You’re not going anywhere?
WENDY I’ll be going back into the kitchen in
. a few minutes to prepare the potatoes.
. Did you want a play-by-play report
. on the supper’s progress?
SAM But - you’re okay? Do you need anything?
. Did you forget anything at the grocery story?
WENDY Why? Are YOU going anywhere?
SAM You know me better than that.
WENDY I do, that’s why I asked.
SAM I’ve already made my weekly trip out for all
. my errands. We need to always - plan ahead.
WENDY (joining the last part) Plan ahead. 13
SAM You HAVE been getting better at that.
WENDY (gasping) Is that some sort of encouragement?
. Or – compliment? I’m only human. You know?
. I love you, but I don’t know how much more
. of this I can take.
(CHILDREN come running down the stairs with a paper
snowflake garland.)
CHILD 3 Look, look what we made.
SAM Where’d you get the paper?
CHILD 2 From the trash bin.
SAM Did you switch the lights off in your rooms?
(CHILD 2 quickly turns to run back up the stairs.)
CHILD 1 Can we finish decorating the tree now?
SAM No!
WENDY Not yet.
CHILD 3 Why?
CHILD 1 When?
WENDY I’m making Christmas supper now.
. Do you kids want to help peel potatoes?
CHILD 1 Okay.
(CHILD 2 comes back in.)
CHILD 2 What?
CHILD 1 (very excited) We get to help MOM
. make potatoes!
CHILD 2 Okay, but that’s not as fun as decorating
. the tree.
(CHILDREN exit to kitchen. WENDY turns to SAM.)
WENDY Well, go on, quickly try to get your work done!
. 14
SAM (muttering) Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.
(As soon as WENDY exits through the kitchen door,
SAM seethes and his muttering becomes angrier.)
SAM I’m not a child! Stop treating me like
. a child!
(SAM storms toward the office door while looking back.
He runs into the beam again and falls to the floor.)
LIGHTS DIM SLIGHTLY.
(CAROLERS step onto side stage left to sing
“Do You Hear What I Hear?”)
CAROLERS (singing) Do You Hear What I Hear
. Said the night wind to the little lamb,
. do you see what I see
. Way up in the sky, little lamb,
. do you see what I see
. A star, a star, dancing in the night
. With a tail as big as a kite
. With a tail as big as a kite
. Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy,
. do you hear what I hear
. Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy,
. do you hear what I hear
. A song, a song, high above the trees
. With a voice as big as the sea
. With a voice as big as the sea
. Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king,
. do you know what I know
. In your palace warm, mighty king,
. do you know what I know
. A Child, a Child shivers in the cold
. Let us bring Him silver and gold
. Let us bring Him silver and gold
. Said the king to the people everywhere,
. listen to what I say
. Pray for peace, people everywhere!
. listen to what I say
. The Child, the Child, sleeping in the night
. He will bring us goodness and light
. He will bring us goodness and light
. ACT 2 15
(SAM sits up and looks around curiously. Hearing the
CAROLERS, he gets up angrily.)
SAM What am I hearing? When’ll they leave me alone!
(SAM is ready to head for the front door when-
OLD SAM walks out of the office wearing a winter hat
and a tattered sweater. Shivering, OLD SAM opens
the front door and looks out.)
O.SAM How many times must I tell you – I don’t
. wanna be caroled!
(When O.SAM slams the door shut, some snow falls down –
from above (from the roof, mime it if it can’t be done.)
Grabbing a broom nearby, SAM opens the door again
to sweep out the snow, then closes the door carefully
so more snow will fall. OLD SAM looks up to make sure.
While OLD SAM is doing this, SAM gets up and watches
curiously. When he speaks, OLD SAM cannot hear him.
SAM stands right next to OLD SAM and looks up with him.)
SAM Ah, excuse me? Look what you’ve done
. to my house! There’s – there’s a hole
. in the ceiling – and the ceiling above that –
. and the roof. What’s going on here?...
. Why can’t you hear me? Are you deaf?
. What are you doing in my house, anyway?
. Hellooooo!
(SAM waves his arms in front of OLD SAM, who does
not see this. Wandering to the end table, OLD SAM
picks up the phone, debating if he should call anybody.)
SAM That’s it – call a repair man. What are you
. waiting for? This should be fixed immediately.
. Don’t you know? Holes in the roof -
. equals water damage - which equals wood rot -
. which equals – more money in repairs-
(OLD SAM puts the receiver down.)
SAM No! Don’t give up. Why are you bothering
. with the door?
. (there is knocking at the door)
. Oh, the doorbell still hasn’t been fixed.
(When OLD SAM opens the door, a YOUNG WOMAN steps in.)
. 16
WOMAN Hello, Sam!
SAM Sam?
O.SAM I am Mr. Edwards to you, young lady!
. Have you never been taught to respect?
WOMAN Sorry, we just have your first name on
. our call-back list. I’ll add your surname.
O.SAM Better yet, take my name right OFF the list.
WOMAN Well, it’s for a good cause. And the products
. are top of the line - at a great price. So,
. perhaps you want to buy some spices.
O.SAM I’ve got plenty of spice, thank you!
SAM I knew it. I knew that spice would be around
. for years!
WOMAN Maybe there is a spice that your wife
. doesn’t have yet.
O.SAM There’s no wife. Wife is gone. She left me.
. Years ago, in fact.
WOMAN Oh, sorry to hear that. Well, then,
. it’s still for a good cause – helping orphans –
O.SAM No need for spice!
SAM Can’t you hear, lady?
WOMAN (not hearing SAM) Okay, got it! Take care!
. And merry Christmas.
O.SAM But – ah – okay - you – ah – you too.
(OLD SAM is about to close the door, then looks up.
He closes the door carefully. Shivering, OLD SAM
goes to thermostat and thinks about turning up the heat.
SAM follows to watch and question.)
SAM Wow! You keep it cold. I don’t think it
. could hurt to turn it up – just a bit.
. I mean, at these temperatures, I’m amazed
. the water pipes haven’t frozen and burst.
(OLD SAM thinks better and leaves it alone. 17
SAM holds out his hands in astonishment, then
watches as OLD SAM grabs another blanket from beside
the Christmas tree, then shuffles toward the office
when there is another knock at the door.
SAM &
O.SAM What is this, Grand Central Station?
(OLD SAM goes to door, peeks out then opens the door.)
O.SAM Yes?
(MARTIN and his daughter NANCY step in. MARTIN carries
a food hamper, and NANCY caries a big present.)
MARTIN Hey, Sam.
SAM Don’t talk to me like a child!
MARTIN How’s it going?
O.SAM (bitterly) Fine.
MARTIN Martin.
O.SAM Pardon?
MARTIN Martin, I’m your neighbor. You knew my mother,
. Sarah, back when you were a young boy.
. Remember?
O.SAM No, I don’t.
MARTIN Well, this is my daughter, Nancy. Ah,
. what did we get you from?
O.SAM I – I was going to do some work.
MARTIN On Christmas?
SAM Hey, at least I keep busy in old age!
MARTIN You need to stop and enjoy yourself
. at some point. Have some fun.
O.SAM Fun is for the birds.
. (eyes boxes suspiciously) Ah, did you want
. anything, or are you only here to harass me?
MARTIN Just being neighborly. Seeing how every 18
. year we invite you over to share our Christmas
. meal – and every year you turn us down –
. we thought we’d bring some Christmas to you.
O.SAM Why?
NANCY It’s Christmas.
O.SAM But I don’t need your help.
MARTIN (looking around curiously) Ah, okay, but –
O.SAM (looks at gift) I don’t need anybody’s charity.
NANCY This isn’t charity. It’s a gift.
O.SAM What’s the difference?
SAM Took the words right out of my mouth!
NANCY There’s a huge difference.
MARTIN We just want to share with you –
O.SAM I don’t want to share! I have enough.
. And I’ll get more.
(OLD SAM waves them off and is about to hobble away.)
MARTIN Joy?
(OLD SAM stops and turns around, sarcastically amused.)
MARTIN We want to share our joy with you.
O.SAM How in the world can you possibly share joy?
NANCY You’ve never heard the Christmas story?
O.SAM Right, all about the house, nothing was
. stirring, not even a mouse, when out through
. the chimney –
SAM Good memory!
NANCY I’m talking about the story when the hope
. and joy to all mankind was born in a manger.
O.SAM Don’t remember that one.
. 19
NANCY You’ve never read the Bible?
SAM I have an extensive library, with a family
. Bible! Somewhere on those shelves.
. I think my parents would read it.
MARTIN Ah, that’s great. It’s great when parents
. pass down such a heritage. This story
. is so life-changing.
SAM How long do these people plan on staying here?
O.SAM You’re not going to read this to me now are you?
MARTIN You can read it on your own. It is found in
. the gospel of Luke. Actually, the entire Bible
. tells this story-
O.SAM I – I really don’t have time for stories.
NANCY It’s a true story.
O.SAM Doesn’t’ matter. Whatever! Just another
. autobiography of someone famous, blah-blah-blah.
. I really have work to do.
(MARTIN motions for NANCY to get up.)
MARTIN Of course, we don’t want to overstay our
. welcome.
O.SAM Don’t forget to take this-
NANCY It’s yours, Mr. Edwards. We’re leaving it
. with you. Merry Christmas.
O.SAM Yeah, well, thank you for your non-charitable
. items. And I guess, merry Christmas,
. blah-blah-blah.
MARTIN (smiling gently) Till next year, Sam.
. Say merry Christmas to your children from us -
. next time you talk.
SAM Don’t slam -
(O.SAM slams the door and snow falls.)
SAM -the door.
. 20
O.SAM (muttering angrily) Just how’d you figure
. you were welcome?
SAM When do those people move into the neighborhood?
. I don’t remember them at all.
(While SAM is talking, OLD SAM quickly sweeps up the snow
and sweeps it out the door, then closes the door gently.)
SAM Aren’t you – even curious?
(OLD SAM is about to go to the office when he eyes
the gifts. Opening the hamper lid, he balks slightly.)
SAM Turkey.
(OLD SAM [mimes] taking a piece and tasting it.)
O.SAM Hm. And stuffing.
(OLD SAM takes another bite, then looks over at the gift.
He carefully opens it up. Shocked, he puts a hand to
his face to stop any tears. Finally, he pulls out
a new winter coat. Slowly, he pulls off the ratty
blanket and puts that in the box, then puts on the coat.)
SAM Wow, that’s a nice coat. That would not have
. been cheap. Unless they found this gem at
. a secondhand store. (looking into the box)
. There’s the receipt. Wow! NOT secondhand.
(OLD SAM looks into box and pulls out receipt to study.)
SAM You could return it - and put the money
. in the bank.
(OLD SAM puts the receipt back in the box and hugs
himself, feeling the warmth of the coat.)
SAM Who gives gifts like that – to ornery neighbors?
. I mean, look at you. Look at myself –
. I’ve become a grouchy – grump. Was I always
. like that? I’m assuming Wendy never calls,
. but do the children ever call? Are there
. grandchildren who want to hear stories?
(Looking at the phone, OLD SAM slowly picks up the phone
and tries to dial out. Realizing there is no dial tone,
he slams down the receiver.)
. 21
SAM You haven’t been paying the phone bills?
. How are you even able to do business?
. What if the children tried to call?
(MAIL drops through the front door’s mail slot.
OLD SAM hobbles over to pick it up. SAM follows and
watches.)
SAM Well, looks like you got – two Christmas cards.
. Are they? Are they from the children?
. Aren’t you even going to look at them?
(OLD SAM goes to the hamper and places that into the box,
then carries it into the office. SAM slumps down onto
the floor where he had fallen previously.)
SAM This is no way to live. Can’t you see
. how miserable you are?
(SAM puts his head in his hands and shakes his head,
distraught.)
LIGHTS COME UP.
(SAM gets up off the floor, rubbing his head.
As the phone rings, SAM perks up a bit and rushes
to the end table to answer.)
SAM It could be the children!
(The phone stops ringing just as SAM reaches for it.)
WENDY (yelling from off stage)
Got it. It’s for me anyway!
(SAM goes from rubbing his head to scratching his head
with confusion. The CHILDREN come out from the kitchen.)
CHILD 2 Are you finished working yet?
SAM No?
CHILD 3 Why not?
SAM Because there’s a lot to do.
CHILD 1 Why don’t you hire someone to help?
SAM Because that costs money.
. 22
CHILD 1 Couldn’t you do more work with more people?
SAM That would cost even more money. It is called –
. overhead.
CHILD 2 But then you wouldn’t have to do so much work.
SAM Is that a question?
CHILD 2 No. Just a comment.
CHILD 1 Are you really our father?
SAM Why would you say that?
CHILD 1 Because our teacher was saying that fathers
. do things with their kids.
CHILD 2 Like - build things –
CHILD 3 And plays games –
SAM Playing is for the birds! Adults have
. lots of work.
CHILD 1 ALL the time?
SAM Am I working right now?
CHILD 2 No?
SAM It sure feels like I am.
CHILD 3 You’re talking with us.
SAM Right, I’m answering a lot of random questions
. that are being fired at me. It’s making my
. head spin.
CHILD 2 Maybe your head is spinning from all the work.
CHILD 1 Was your mom angry at your father, too?
SAM Is Mom angry at me?
CHILD 1 I don’t know.
SAM What is with all the questions?
CHILD 1 Kids have questions. Didn’t you ever 23
. have questions when you were a kid?
SAM No! I think I was born just knowing all
. the answers. I can’t remember that far back.
CHILD 1 You can’t remember being a kid?
. Don’t you have any memories at all?
(SAM sits down on the sofa, thinking. The CHILDREN
gather around the sofa to watch SAM, until another
question arises.)
CHILD 2 Remember when you said you would take us
. to the zoo?
SAM I do NOT remember saying that.
CHILD 2 Oh right, that’s because you have NEVER
. said that?
CHILD 3 Did you ever go to the zoo?
SAM I don’t know.
CHILD 1 You can’t remember anything from
. your childhood?
CHILD 2 What are you ever going to tell your
. grandchildren?
SAM I guess, nothing.
CHILD 2 That will be boring.
SAM Well, no, that’s not right. I will tell them
. about working hard and being responsible,
. investing in high-yield bonds-
(CHILDREN all roll their eyes at the familiar speech.)
CHILD 2 That would be boring, too.
SAM Are you all finished then? I still have work.
(CHILDREN think, then start to go up the stairs.)
CHILD 1 All right. Nice talking to you – FATHER –
. if that’s even your REAL name.
(CHILDREN exit up the stairs.) 24
SAM What kind of!- of all the nerve!–
. Do all kids talk that way?!
(Fuming with anger, SAM turns to go into his office
and hits his head again. SAM falls to the floor.)
LIGHTS DIM SLIGHTLY.
(CAROLERS step onto side stage left to sing
“Carol of the Bells.”)
CAROLERS (sings) Hark how the bells,
. sweet silver bells,
. all seem to say,
. throw cares away
. Christmas is here,
. bringing good cheer,
. to young and old,
. meek and the bold.
. Ding dong ding dong
. that is their song
. with joyful ring
. all caroling.
. One seems to hear
. words of good cheer
. from everywhere
. filling the air.
. Oh how they pound,
. raising the sound,
. o'er hill and dale,
. telling their tale.
. Gaily they ring
. while people sing
. songs of good cheer,
. Christmas is here.
. Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas,
. Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas.
. On on they send,
. on without end,
. their joyful tone
. to every home.
. Ding dong ding... dong!
. ACT 3
(SAM sits up as he hears the CAROLERS, wondering if
this is just in his head. Realizing that there are
CAROLERS outside, he jumps up to run to the door.)
. 25
SAM Oh those carolers!
(MRS. EDWARDS VOICE can be heard calling from kitchen.)
MRS.E (calling) Saaaamuel!
(SAM turns around, desperately wondering what is
happening now. MRS. EDWARDS steps out from the kitchen
wearing an apron.)
MRS.E Oh, carolers, how lovely. (calls upstairs)
. Sam, come and listen! There are carolers.
Y.SAM (calling from upstairs) Don’t really care.
. I hate Christmas music.
MRS.E Well, it is time to come downstairs anyway.
. (waits then calls again with sing-song voice)
. Samuel Edwards. Samuel Anthony Edwards!
SAM Stop calling me like that!
(CAROLERS stop singing and exit side stage left.
YOUNG SAM storms down the stairs and into the room
carrying a book.)
SAM Is that – me?
Y.SAM I am not a child!
SAM Yeah, that’s me.
MRS.E Well, yes you are a child.
Y.SAM Well, I don’t want to be treated as a child.
MRS.E Sam, I worry about you. What is wrong
. with being a child?
Y.SAM Adults make all the decisions for me.
. I can’t wait to make all the decisions!
(SAM steps closer to MRS. EDWARDS with great interest.)
MRS.E We let you make some of your own decisions.
. As parents, it’s important that we teach
. you how to be responsible.
SAM NOW we’ll see how I was abused as a child!
. 26
MRS.E But! – it is still important to learn
. how to play and have some fun.
(SAM balks at this statement.)
Y.SAM Fun and play is for the birds.
(MRS. EDWARDS turns away from YOUNG SAM with a hurt look,
but SAM can see it.)
SAM Aw! (looks back at YOUNG SAM) Huh, maybe we
. should listen - maybe Mom does know something.
MRS.E (turning back to Y.SAM) Now, I know you can’t
. believe that is true. Life isn’t just work.
Y.SAM How else are you supposed to get ahead?
MRS.E Ahead of what, dear?
Y.SAM Ahead – of where one is? Duh! Now, I want
. to finish my reading!
SAM Was I that rude to my own mother? Why in the
. world did Dad let me get away with that?
. (noticing the fallen beam still there) Why
. didn’t Dad keep up the house repairs? Sure,
. leave me with a house that’s falling apart.
MRS.E It’s not all about you, Sam. Being part
. of a family is not only working together,
. but spending time together. Now, I’ll need
. a bit of help. We have invited Mrs. Caldwell
. and her children over for the Christmas meal.
Y.SAM Aw! Why?!
MRS.E Because - they are struggling-
Y.SAM WE are struggling.
MRS.E We have more blessings than you realize.
. And we want to share that with people less
. fortunate than ourselves. So! Before they
. arrive, you can go help your father.
. He’s in the study. (checks her watch)
. He should be finished his devotions by now.
. I’ll go finish setting the table.
(MRS. EDWARDS exits into the kitchen, while YOUNG SAM 27
stomps around on the floor, seething.)
Y.SAM Why do we have to share! I don’t want to share!
(Once YOUNG SAM is calmer, he heaves an angry sigh,
then leaves for the office.)
SAM Have I always been this angry?
. Why have I always been this angry?
(YOUNG SAM enters pushing MR. EDWARDS in a wheelchair
from the office toward the sofa.)
SAM (tenderly in realization) Dad.
MR.E You are a fine wheelchair driver, my son.
Y.SAM Whatever. I don’t plan on being a wheelchair
. driver when I grow up.
MR.E Oh? What do you want to be?
Y.SAM Well, a businessman, like you.
MR.E You don’t have to be a businessman, you can be
. whatever you want to be.
(YOUNG SAM positions MR.EDWARDS beside Christmas tree,
then sits on the sofa.)
Y.SAM I know, but, if I ever wind up being in
. a wheelchair, at least I can still work.
MR.E This was an accident, son. I keep telling you.
. There are a lot of things in life that
. you cannot control. You can be prepared
. as much as possible, but you also have
. to be willing to accept help.
Y.SAM I will never be in that sort of position to need
. anybody’s help. I’m going to make sure that
. I can do everything on my own.
MR.E Well, the most important thing in life is -
. you need to give God complete control –
. of everything.
(YOUNG SAM rolls his eyes and looks away.)
SAM Okay, so why didn’t you ask Dad more 28
. about that? Huh? Now he’s gone, and you
. can never ask him what he meant by that.
(The doorbell rings. MRS. EDWARDS rushes happily
to answer the door with a sing-song voice.)
MRS.E I’ll get that! (opening the door)
. Come in everyone. Welcome and merry Christmas.
. Come on in.
(MRS.CALDWELL and all her KIDS enter. MRS.CALDWELL
hands MRS.EDWARDS a container of juice.)
MRS.C I – I don’t have much, but I brought some juice.
MRS.E How lovely. Thank you so much. I will serve
. this with our meal. I’ll bring this to
. the kitchen while you take off your coats.
(MRS.EDWARDS leaves for the kitchen while the CALDWELLS
help each other take off their coats.)
Y.SAM Aw, they’re here already.
SAM Just how many children are there?
Y.SAM I’m NEVER having kids.
SAM SOME children would be good. They can help
. take care of you when you get older... or –
. if you wind up having an accident.
. So – you – never wind up – being alone – if
. you’re not too miserable a person to be around.
(MRS. EDWARDS returns to take all the coats back into
the kitchen area. Reappearing, MRS. EDWARDS then ushers
everyone over to the sofa area. SAM rushes over
to the tree, down stage, to sit on the floor and hide.)
MRS.E We have a little while until supper is ready,
. so please, sit down and make yourselves
. comfortable.
(MRS. EDWARDS gives MR. EDWARDS a knowing nod as
MRS.CALDWELL and KIDS sit on the sofa to politely wait.)
MR.E Well then, Sam, would you mind getting
. the family Bible from the office.
(YOUNG SAM trudges off to office to get Bible.) 29
MR.E Before supper, we usually read the Christmas
. story. Would you all like that?
(KIDS all react positively. SAM follows YOUNG SAM’S
actions, astonished that he found the Bible.)
SAM (to Y.SAM) You KNOW where the family Bible is?
(MR. EDWARDS takes the Bible from YOUNG SAM. YOUNG SAM
goes to sit back on the floor in front of the tree,
down stage so no one can see him taking out his own book
and reading from that. SAM walks over to tree to stand
between MR. EDWARDS and YOUNG SAM. As MR. EDWARDS mimes
reading the Bible, EVERYONE else listens respectfully and
inquisitively. SAM first talks to YOUNG SAM.)
SAM Why didn’t you pay attention? What was
. so much more important with THAT book?
. Or was it all about not wanting to be controlled
. in any way – even if it meant NOT doing
. something that was fun or – or good for you?
. (gives up and turns to listen to MR.EDWARDS)
MR.E The hope and joy of Christmas is God’s gift
. to us. And that is Jesus, who was born
. so that He may die for our sins. All you
. have to do is believe, humble yourselves,
. and confess your sins to receive this gift.
SAM I remember that. I must have heard that
. when I was trying not to listen.
Y.SAM (muttering) Gifts are for charity cases.
MR.E The gift is for everyone. And to get to heaven,
. everyone needs this gift. As it is explained
. in Romans (reading 3:21-25a) “But now apart
. from the law the righteousness of God has been
. made known, to which the Law and the Prophets
. testify. This righteousness is given through
. faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.
. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile,
. for all have sinned and fall short of the glory
. of God, and all are justified freely by His
. grace through the redemption that came by
. Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as
. a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding
. of His blood — to be received by faith.”
. 30
SAM (to Y.SAM) Did you at least KIND OF hear
. that part?
MR.E Let us pray.
(ALL bow their heads, except for YOUNG SAM who continues
to read book and SAM who watches MR. EDWARDS closely.)
MR.E Dear Lord, we thank You for all the gifts
. that You have given us. Without You,
. there is nothing. But most importantly
. we humbly thank You for sending Your only Son,
. Jesus, in order that we might have the gift
. of salvation. May we celebrate this
. all year round, and may we share this
. and Your love with all of those around us.
. Thank you for family, friends and neighbors,
. and being able to enjoy and share even
. the simplest things of life that You provide
. for us – we thank you for our food. Amen.
(There are a few giggles at the last phrase of
the prayer.)
MR.E And I would like to say in advance, I am also
. very thankful for my wonderful, gracious wife,
. who knows how to make all this food very tasty.
(There are more giggles.)
MRS.E Well, thank for that very kind compliment, dear.
. Our supper should be ready now. After eating,
. we can all decorate the tree together.
. And there will be gifts, and singing.
. But first - let us go enjoy some turkey.
KID And stuffing?
MRS.E (smiling) Of course–and stuffing!
(WHILE MRS. CALDWELL and the KIDS enter the doorway
to the kitchen/dining room area, MRS. EDWARDS follows
while pushing MR. EDWARDS in his wheelchair.)
MR.E Why, thank you again, my dear.
SAM (looks at YOUNG SAM still on the floor, reading)
. What are you waiting for? Go – join the – fun –
. why don’t you.
. 31
(Older KID (SARAH) stays behind and studies YOUNG SAM.)
SARAH Aren’t you coming?
Y.SAM Yeah-yeah. (closes his book and stands up)
SARAH Your parents are so awesome. Your dad’s name
. is Martin, isn’t it?
Y.SAM Yeah.
SARAH You are so fortunate. I wish my dad was around,
. like yours is.
Y.SAM He’s in a wheelchair, it’s not like he can
. go very far.
SARAH Well, when I grow up and have kids, if I ever
. have a boy, I’m going to name him – Martin. And
. I’m going to tell my children all about Jesus.
Y.SAM Blah-blah-blah. If you don’t have anything
. important to say – don’t bother telling me.
(YOUNG SAM walks to the kitchen. SARAH sadly watches
for a moment then follows him into the kitchen.)
SAM Well, that was rather rude and unnecessary...
. Oh, my aching head.
(SAM holds his head and sits down on the floor where
he had fallen previously.)
LIGHTS COME BACK UP.
(CAROLERS step onto side stage left to sing
“Ding Dong Merrily on High.”)
CAROLERS (singing) Ding dong merrily on high,
. In heav'n the bells are ringing:
. Ding dong! verily the sky
. Is riv'n with angel singing.
. Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis!
. Pray you, dutifully prime
. Your matin chime, ye ringers;
. May you beautifully rime
. Your evetime song, ye singers.
. Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis!
. 32
(SAM stands up, still rubbing his head. WENDY, clearly
upset, comes from the kitchen and goes to the front door
without seeing SAM.)
WENDY Ohhhhh! And - nooo- (hearing the CAROLERS)
. –not now. (pleading that they cannot hear)
. Please not now. Go away before he hears.
. Oooh this is not happing. This is so miserable.
SAM What’s wrong?
WENDY (turns, shocked) Oh! I burned the meatloaf.
(SAM freezes, thinking. As if the CAROLERS can
sense this, they stop singing and freeze. As soon
as SAM is able to speak again, the CAROLERS quickly
and quietly exit side stage left.)
SAM Why?
WENDY Do you think I wanted to burn the meatloaf?
SAM I mean, how?
WENDY I was talking on the phone with a friend.
. (SAM stands there thinking of what to say)
. I know you think such things are unnecessary,
. but she is in a crisis and she needed somebody
. to talk to.
SAM Did – you want to invite her over?
WENDY WHAT?
SAM Maybe you should invite her over. With her kids
. if she has any.
WENDY And serve burned meatloaf?
SAM Children! Children! Come down here! Now!
WENDY Are you all right?
(CHILDREN quickly appear at the bottom of the stairs
and stand next to WENDY.)
SAM No! I’ve been very wrong. And – I’m sorry.
. Please forgive me.
(EVERYONE is stunned and stand motionless.) 33
SAM Now, get your coats. We are – going to go out
. for Christmas dinner. (ALL are still stunned)
. You can call up your friend and tell her
. where to meet us. I’ll google restaurants.
. There must be a few places that serve up a nice
. turkey-and-stuffing meal.
(EVERYONE continues to be stunned and frozen in place.
SAM turns to go to the office but see the empty
floor space beneath the tree.)
SAM And on our way, we’ll stop off at the mall
. for some last minute gift shopping. Then,
. when we get home – we will – (thinking)
(SAM spins back around to look at the family.)
CHILD 1 Decorate the tree?
SAM Yes! Have hot cocoa and decorate the tree.
. And – read the Christmas story.
CHILD 2 Can we sing?
SAM Yes. Yes, we can sing. We could even –
. get really crazy – and go out there
. to join those carolers – and spread – (thinking)
CHILD 1 The joy of Christmas?
SAM Exactly. Yes. We need to find and share
. the joy of Christmas.
(SOLIST can sing “Where Are You Christmas” by Faith Hill
while OTHER CAROLERS venture out, joined by FAMILY
and THE REST OF THE CAST, unless they’re also CAROLERS.)
SOLOIST (singing) Where are you Christmas?
. Why can't I find you?
. Why have you gone away?
. Where is the laughter
. You used to bring me?
. Why can't I hear music play?
. My world is changing
. I'm rearranging
. Does that mean Christmas changes too?
. 34
SOLOIST (continues) Where are you Christmas
. Do you remember
. The one you used to know
. I'm not the same one
. See what the time's done
. Is that why you have let me go
. Christmas is here
. Everywhere, oh
. Christmas is here
. If you care, oh
. If there is love in your heart and your mind
. You will feel like Christmas all the time
. I feel you Christmas
. I know I've found you
. You never fade away
. The joy of Christmas
. Stays here in silence
. Fills each and every heart with love
. Where are you Christmas
. Fills your heart with love
(EVERYONE sings “Joy to the World.”)
ALL (sing vs.1) Joy to the World , the Lord is come!
. Let earth receive her King;
. Let every heart prepare Him room,
. And Heaven and nature sing,
. And Heaven and nature sing,
. And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.
. (vs.2) Joy to the World, the Savior reigns!
. Let men their songs employ;
. While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
. Repeat the sounding joy,
. Repeat the sounding joy,
. Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.
. (vs.3) No more let sins and sorrows grow,
. Nor thorns infest the ground;
. He comes to make His blessings flow
. Far as the curse is found,
. Far as the curse is found,
. Far as, far as, the curse is found.
. (vs.4) He rules the world with truth and grace,
. And makes the nations prove
. The glories of His righteousness,
. And wonders of His love,
. And wonders of His love,
. And wonders, wonders, of His love