. all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
. refer to www.church-skits.com
GIFTS FROM THE TOY MAKER - written by Tanis Harms
PREMISE: The toy maker creates his toys
. with the hope that they will bring joy
. to the kids who get them. In turn,
. that brings him joy. Retiring for the day,
. the lights go out, and the toys come to life.
. A renegade puppet lures the rest of the toys
. into a life of selfishness. When they see
. that this existence is not what it pretends
. to be, and there isn’t really joy to be found
. in that, they decide to live the life
. that the toy maker purposed for them.
STYLE: musical fantasy, comedy (allegory)
SCRIPTURE: Gal.5:1-26; 1 Cor.12:1-4, 14:1-12; Eph.5:9,
. James 3:17;
TOPIC: gifts to serve
NOTES: for CAST, COSTUMES, SET, PROPS, MUSIC
SCRIPT: STAGE RIGHT:
. (small work bench)
(TOY MAKER enters with CLIENT following, and
motions toward his workbench where 15 dolls
are in various poses in a row:
clown, nurse, soldier, Margie, Ben, cowboy, Indian,
ragboy, raggirl, stuffed cat, stuffed dog,
nanny, baby, superhero and ballerina.
[or 2 rows if you have built a ledge])
CLIENT I’m sorry to come at such a late hour.
. One of the girls had a high fever and
. had to be brought to the hospital.
MAKER I hope she’s okay.
CLIENT Yes, thank you for asking.
. The hospital just called and said
. I could pick her up and bring her back.
(While CLIENT talks, TOY MAKER counts the dolls with
a bit of a confused expression, and scratches his head.)
. 2
MAKER You said you needed 16 dolls?
CLIENT We have 16 children at the orphanage.
. We’re throwing them a Christmas celebration
. tomorrow evening.
MAKER Will these do?
CLIENT Yes! And how! Those look splendid!
MAKER Except, I only count 15 right now.
. Funny. I KNOW that I made 16.
(TOY MAKER looks under and around his workbench.
CLIENT waves it off.)
CLIENT I’m sure it’s here somewhere.
MAKER (chuckling) Yes, I do share in your
. optimism. Indeed, it has to be SOMEwhere.
CLIENT Hm, well –
MAKER Don’t worry. Go and take care of the children.
. I’ll have 16 dolls for you to pick up
. tomorrow morning. Some of the glue
. still needs to set overnight.
(TOY MAKER picks up clown and gently touches its nose.)
MAKER Like with this one here - so his nose
. stays on. I don’t know why the glue
. is taking so long to dry. Anyway,
. by morning, I’m sure it will be, and
. I will have found that missing doll.
CLIENT Excellent. Thank you so much. I will
. see you tomorrow, then. Have a good night.
MAKER Good night. See you tomorrow.
(CLIENT leaves and TOY MAKER lays down the clown,
making sure it is in the same position as the actor
on the main stage.)
. 3
(TOY MAKER gives one last look around. Seeing a cup
on the workbench, he finishes drinking its contents,
then puts it back [in the proper place].
Picking up a cloth, TOY MAKER covers the dolls
carefully, then pauses to look around the room before
turning off the light. SIDE STAGE LIGHTS go off.)
. MAIN STAGE
. (This is the exact copy of the workbench.
. Whatever is on the small workbench,
. needs to be here in proper scale,
. and in the same position. Likewise,
. there should either be a big sheet
. covering the stage of similar color,
. OR the sheet on the small workbench
. should be the same color as the stage curtains.)
(PUPPET sneaks onto stage from a far corner, like
if maybe he has been hiding behind “Margie’s” wardrobe,
even though this item is still covered by a cloth.
If you are using the stage curtains, he can come out
the side. Tiptoeing around, PUPPET makes sure
he is alone. PUPPET giggles mischievously into a hand
then continues.)
PUPPET (not too loudly) I’m free. I’m free.
. To do whatever I want.
(Reaching the edge of the stage, PUPPET stops very
short - wavering. He almost falls over but catches
himself just in time. Stepping backward, he wipes
his brow in relief.)
PUPPET Whoa! That was close!
. (dares to inch up to edge and look down)
. Okay, that is an awfully long way down.
. Probably too far to jump, I’d say... I
. could maybe just try - and see what happens.
(Still unsure, PUPPET swings his arms back and forth,
and takes a little run for the edge, but stops
just in time, wavering again.)
PUPPET No! Definitely not. My head is made 4
. of porcelain, after all. There would be
. shattered fragments all OVER the place.
. Hmmm, I may need some help.
. (looks behind, then down, then behind)
. This is a very lonely path to take,
. when one is all by themselves.
SONG #1: “I AM DOING SOMETHING BAD”
Sung to “Good King Wenceslas”
PUPPET (singing, start sad, end sly and strong)
. I am doing something bad -
. And I’m feeling lonely.
. Misery needs company
. So I will scheme boldly.
. Maybe I can stir up grief
. And I’ll cause a problem.
. I could always use deceit -
. Evoking strife amo-ng them!
(PUPPET very slowly paces as he thinks and schemes.)
PUPPET Yes, I think I will need to “stir up”
. some help. But how – how exactly will
. I do this?... (realizing) I don’t have
. much time. I guess, I will have to come up
. with the plan - as I go.
(PUPPET studies the sheet/curtain and finally bends down
to peek underneath it. Nodding, PUPPET pulls the sheet
off in a forward motion so the sheet lines the front edge
of the stage - or opens the stage curtains to reveal
the entire “workbench,” with all the dolls lined up
and positioned exactly as they were on the small
workbench: CLOWN, NURSE, SOLDIER, MARGIE, BEN, COWBOY,
INDIAN, RAGBOY, RAGGIRL, STUFFED CAT, STUFFED DOG,
NANNY, BABY, SUPERHERO, and BALLERINA.)
PUPPET Psst, guys! Psst, everyone. Wake up!
. Life - is passing you by!
(ALL the dolls try to open only one eye or subtly,
cautiously look around.)
PUPPET It’s okay. The coast is clear! There 5
. are nooo people around. See? So wake up.
. Time to get moving and - grooving.
(ALL dolls slowly start to come to life and look around.
BALLERINA warms up with some stretches. SOLDIER quickly
roams the stage and then stands at attention.)
SOLDIER Affirmative. The coast is clear. You are
. clear to move it out. Move it out, dolls.
MARGIE Are you sure? We wouldn’t want to destroy
the illusion.
PUPPET Yes, yes. You know, you worry WAY too much
. about appearances.
MARGIE It’s not that! Not that at all!
(MARGIE opens the door to her wardrobe and finds a purse
that “goes” with her ensemble, then closes the door.)
PUPPET Sure it is. (cunningly) And, it’s okay.
(MARGIE shrugs a “why not”, then dives into her purse
for a brush and a mirror.)
(NURSE notices that there are only short pieces of
strings hanging from PUPPET’S limbs.)
NURSE Oh, you poor dear, your strings were somehow
snipped. I should fix that for you right away-
(PUPPET jumps away from the NURSE in a panic.)
PUPPET Lay off. Keep your hands, needles and
. other fixing devices far away from me.
NURSE But your strings are broken.
PUPPET I - did that.
NURSE You - hurt YOURSELF?
PUPPET It didn’t – hurt... much.
. 6
NURSE Well, I should fix that.
PUPPET No! I WANT it this way?
INDIAN (to PUPPET) You WANT it that way? But,
. it’s - NOT the way it should be.
. You should be – the way you SHOULD.
SONG #2: “THE WAY YOU SHOULD”
Sung to: “Deck the Halls”
HERO (singing)
. YOU should have all your strings on you
. if you want your limbs to bend and move.
MARGIE (singing)
. YOU appear to be in shambles
. with the cut-off bits, who will approve?
BEN (singing)
. Who can use you with this issue?
BALLERINA (singing)
. How can one - put on a – pup-pet-show?
NURSE (singing)
. You should let us fix this for you
INDIAN So you can get on, the way you should.
PUPPET (singing)
. I don’t need my strings for “purpose”
. I can make that up, and take a chance
. TIRED of being manipulated
. I don’t WANT-someONE to make me dance
. No one moves me, I-III decide
. I will do – and will be - what I want!
. Life is too short to be stifled
. I will make my choice, you will not daunt.
HERO, SOLDIER, RAGBOY, COWBOY, BEN (singing)
. You should have all your strings on you
. if you want your limbs to bend and move.
MARGIE, NANNY, RAGGIRL, BALLERINA, NURSE (singing) 7
. You appear to be in shambles
. with the cut-off bits, who will approve?
ALL (singing)
. Who can use you with this issue?
. How can one - put on a – pup-pet-show?
. You should let us fix this for you
. So you can get on, the way you SHOULD!
(The song slows down at the end in order for the lecture
to be laid out clearly.)
PUPPET The way I SHOULD? Now, who exactly
. decides that? Huh? I think I am
. just fine – this way.
COWBOY (to PUPPET) Now, what’s wrong with you, boy?
. You won’t be in proper workin’ order,
. which is what’s goin’ to be a problem.
PUPPET Really, it’s no problem.
(BEN pulls out a calculator from his briefcase and
quickly punches out some numbers.)
BEN This will be a financial matter as well as
. a productivity issue. Let me gather and
. process the facts and figures for you
. and calculate the sordid ramifications.
COWBOY (nudging INDIAN) Who’s this dude, again?
. And what’s he prattlin’ on about?
INDIAN Um, that them thar’s... Business Ben.
COWBOY Riiight. Business Ben. (thinking)
. Hey, I should really speak to him about
. financing my next horse and buggy.
INDIAN He’s the man! He can help you do that
. without any debt, you know. He’s an ace
. cracker-jack-number-cruncher.
COWBOY How ‘bout it, pardner?
. 8
BEN (to COWBOY) We can schedule a conference
. later to pontificate...
INDIAN (aside to COWBOY) If you can git round
. his strange speech impediment.
(COWBOY winces, and nods his understanding.)
BEN (back to PUPPET) Now, if you consider all
. possible incidentals around broken strings
. and such, the maintenance overhead will have
. to be increased by... five point two percent.
CLOWN Oh! Oh! My nose! My nose!
(CLOWN’S nose falls off and rolls onto the floor.)
[NOTE: make sure the nose always rolls in a direction
where you can easily retrieve it, and have a backup plan,
ie. extra noses in a pocket, so you are never with a
nose. If you’ve used a sheet, that will barricade it
from going over the front.]
(As CLOWN tries to pick it up, he keeps kicking it
ahead of himself. Seeing this, BEN quickly
calculates again.)
BEN Facial-spare-parts malfunction.
. Make that - five point THREE percent!
(As the focus strays away from him, PUPPET finds a perch
to sit and watch as the scene unfolds. And to scheme!
If you have, on the ledge would be good.)
(BABY crawls after the nose and grabs for it.)
BABY Toy! Toy! Toy!...
(CLOWN is kept away as CAT and DOG playfully pounce
around him and his nose. SOLDIER steps between
the nose and EVERYONE to protect it.)
SOLDIER Stand back. We have a run-away nose.
. I repeat, a run-away nose.
. 9
CLOWN Not to be confused with a runny nose.
SOLDIER Just keep back, folks.
(SUPERHERO jumps out and strikes a hero-like-pose with
a finger pointing up.)
SUPERHERO I’LL - SAVE IT!
(SUPERHERO swoops after the nose and scoops it up.
RAGBOY and RAGGIRL distract and play with CAT and DOG.
HERO hands the nose over to CLOWN who tries to stick it
back onto his face. NURSE rushes over to help.)
CLOWN (very cheerfully) Thank you! Thank you!
SOLDIER (speaking into his plastic walkie-talkie)
. Oner-two-four-niner-twenty-seventy-hundred-
. Mission complete. Update territorial report:
. we have peace on the tableland. I repeat,
. all quite on the tableland. Are there any
. more missions on the horizon? Sir, yes, sir!
(BABY keeps looking back at CLOWN and pointing
to his nose.)
BABY Toy! Toy! Toy!
(SOLDIER notices BABY’S undying interest in the nose,
and points NANNY in the direction of BABY.
NANNY steps forward with a big carpetbag and pulls out
a toy for BABY.)
NANNY Here you go, Nanny Carrie Bobkins has
. a toy for you.
(BABY looks at the rattle, then points to CLOWN’S nose.)
BABY Toy!
NANNY (shaking head) Noooo. THAT is a – “nose”.
. Can you say “nose”?
BABY (shaking head) Nooooooo-se! Nose!
. 10
(NANNY and BABY clap at the success. As they play,
BALLERINA notices and gracefully approaches, smiling.)
BALLERINA What a good baby. Yes, such a good baby.
. Come, dance with me. I will teach you how
. to dance. Beginning with baby steps
. of course. Now, watch me, and follow along
. with what I do.
(BALLERINA sits on the floor and takes the arms
of BABY to “dance” with her. BABY laughs delightfully.
BALLERINA soon gets up and dances around BABY
to entertain her.)
SOLDIER Attention, men! I have found a suspicious
. looking box. Is anybody here in the know
. of what is inside the suspicious looking box?
(SOLDER points down at the miniature card box. HERO,
BEN, INDIAN and COWBOY all walk over to examine the box.)
HERO I just assumed it was your footlocker, sir.
SOLDIER Negative, it says min... min...
HERO (helping) Min... mi-ni... mi-ni-AAAhh –
BEN These are CARDS. Miniature cards.
. I have them here in my ledger, down under -
. leisure expenditures.
COWBOY (nudging INDIAN) Leisure expendidahdah? -
. Is that a good thing?
INDIAN It is if you like having fun.
COWBOY Well then – Yahoooo! Bring it on.
(SOLDIER, SUPERHERO, INDIAN and COWBOY open the fairly
big box and pull out the cards. COWBOY deals them out,
using the index card box as a table. BEN joins
them curiously.)
BEN I have some time. Deal me in.
. 11
COWBOY Do you have a five?
INDIAN Goooo – fish.
SOLDIER Hey, watch how you order me around there,
. civilian.
SUPERHERO That actually means, he doesn’t have
. that particular card.
SOLDIER Understood. Please excuse my defensive-
. reflex-reation.
INDIAN You’re excused. Soldier, do you have a two?
SOLDIER Yyyyesss. What’s it to you?
INDIAN Hand it over. It’s now mine, and I’ve got
. a pair.
(INDIAN takes the card from SOLDIER and lays down
two cards. CLOWN is interested in watching the card game
and looks for something to sit on. Seeing the cup on
the other side, CLOWN rolls the cup closer and tries
sitting on the cup, but falls in a bit. Getting stuck,
he struggles, waving his limbs around.)
CLOWN Help. Help. Help me.
SUPERHERO (jumps up) Iiii hear trouble!
SOLDIER (looks up) Need I call in the troops in, sir?
NURSE (calmly) It’s okay, I’ve got it-I’ve got it.
. Margie, could you please assist me?
(NURSE waves MARGIE over to the struggling CLOWN.)
CLOWN Help, I’m stuck in a big giant cup.
. And I can’t get out.
(NURSE and MARGIE help to get him out.)
CLOWN Thank you. I was stuck in a big giant cup.
. 12
NURSE Are you okay? Do you need any medical
. attention?
(CLOWN taps his body everywhere. NURSE bends an arm,
MARGIE checks to see if the CLOWN’S hat is still
firmly attached.)
CLOWN No thank you, I’m quite fine.
MARGIE Could I get you any refreshments from
. the cabin? A magazine, perhaps?
CLOWN Thank you, but no thank you.
MARGIE Are you sure? Maybe you’d like to get more
. comfortable? Looks like you could take
. a break from those horrible looking shoes.
. They look quite... heavy.
CLOWN Thank you, but no thank you.
MARGIE We will be ready for takeoff in just a minute.
CLOWN (cheerfully) Will I need a parachute?
MARGIE No, but I have a music playing device that
. you may stick in your ears.
CLOWN Oh, how delightful. Thank you.
(MARGIE pulls out a plastic iPod from her purse and
helps CLOWN attach them to his ears. CLOWN freezes
at attention, waiting.)
CLOWN (louder) And what should happen now?
MARGIE You pretend to hear music! Any music you
. wish. And you can dance, if you’d like.
(CLOWN dances awkwardly in his corner. PUPPET rolls
his eyes at the horrible dancing.)
PUPPET (dryly) IF you can call that dancing.
(BALLERINA thinks the comment was meant for her, 13
so she lightly floats up to PUPPET.)
BALLERINA Well, OF COURSE your dancing would look
. better. You have someone else controlling
. your strings – usually.
(Seeing CLOWN dancing, BALLERINA joins in and dances
circles around him. MARGIE goes into her wardrobe
and pulls out a plastic magazine and stares at
the two pages. RAGMAN and RAGGIRL play with CAT and DOG
using some rags that they pull from their pockets
to play tug of war.)
PUPPET (rolling his eyes with disgust)
. Ach, ALL of you! You are all so pathetic!
(PUPPET stands up on his perch. It could be the
card box if it is wooden and you don’t have the ledge.)
PUPPET Aren’t you all bored with this yet?
(EVERYONE stops their activities to listen curiously.
CLOWN keeps dancing, and all eyes drift over to him,
until BALLERINA pulls the cord out of his ears.
ALL look back at PUPPET.)
PUPPET Don’t you find this all so – boring?
(CAT brushes up against RAGGIRL’S leg then sits
to listen. DOG happily sits down to rest and pant
at RAGBOY’s feet.)
INDIAN Why? How? What do you mean?
COWBOY (nudges INDIAN) Hey, pardner, it’s your turn.
PUPPET See, look at that. Content with...
. something so mundane.
COWBOY Mundane? Sounds like he’s been hanging out
. with Business Ben too much.
BEN (politely) I resent such accusations.
. The implication offends my common sense.
. 14
COWBOY I do beg your pardon, sir.
BEN I do pardon you, of course. Thank you
. for your consideration.
PUPPET Eee-ooo. There you go again. Satisfied -
. doing the same boring routines. And being
. so – YUCCHH, nice and sugary sweet.
. Don’t you just get sick and tired of going
. through the motions? Doing exactly –
. what you were designed to do?
NURSE What do you mean? Being nice and helping?
NANNY Playing with children and making them happy?
BALLERINA Which then - makes the toy maker happy?
MARGIE What else is there?
PUPPET DOING – exactly what you WANT to do. See?
. THAT’S why I cut my strings.
. (spreads his arms and legs out)
. Why should I let anybody tell ME what I should
. be doing? WHY should I live for anybody else?
. This is MY life, so I should just do the
. things that I want to do. Don’t you think?
SONG #3: “FIND YOUR OWN BLISS”
Sung to “White Christmas”
PUPPET (singing)
. Why bother with this boring stuff?
. Can’t you see that this-is not enough?
. There is nothing you’ll miss
. When-you find your own bliss
. You can - dream as big as this
. (second time)
. Why do the things you’re told to do?
. Performing all the tasks right on cue?
. There is nothing you’ll miss
. When-you find your own bliss
. You can - dream as big as this
. (tag) YOU can – dream as big as this
. 15
(ALL have quietly taken in the song. CLOWN sniffles,
and wipes a tear away.)
CLOWN That-that was so beautiful. (suddenly cheery)
. And that does sound like a lot less pressure.
. I mean, do you even know how hard it is
. to make someone laugh? Or keep them amused or
. entertained? Someone demands that you
. “Be funny!” And boy, you’re hoop’ed if you
. can’t think of anything funny to say or do.
. It’s like being trapped... in a glass box.
(CLOWN starts miming being trapped in a glass box.
EVERYONE ignores him. The box gets small really quickly,
so BEN uses the glass box as an imaginary desk to
lean on, with CLOWN “underneath”.)
BEN (nodding) And let’s not forget the pressure
. of competition - against such high tech toys
. that most kids have today.
RAGBOY SOME kids still have imaginations.
RAGGIRL Yeah – SOME! There are still those FEW
. who can amuse themselves with nothing
. but a pile of rags.
. (motioning to RAGBOY’S entire body)
RAGBOY Hey! That’s a little harsh.
RAGGIRL Just being truthful.
PUPPET And why not? Why not be truthful to yourself!
MARGIE Yeeaah, surre. Why not? I could get
. into that.
RAGGIRL You could?
RAGBOY I don’t know – I kind of can see where we’d
. run into trouble with that line of thinking.
BEN Yes, I concur. And wait a minute while
. I calculate all the risks involved -
. 16
PUPPET Always thinking and calculating. How about
. just going with the FLOW for once?
(BEN crosses his arms and stares at his briefcase,
thinking.)
BEN Won’t we need to nominate a leader for
. this new position? There may be overhead.
PUPPET There you go again. Get from behind your
. desk and let the clown be free.
BEN Oh, sorry.
(BEN moves so CLOWN can stand up.)
SUPERHERO (strongly) I’d say – we need a hero
. right about now - to take charge! To -
. lead us through this confusion and
. time of need.
(MARGIE clasps her hands together adoringly and swings
her attention to SUPERHERO.)
MARGIE Oo, and will YOU be that hero?
SUPERHERO Yyyyyees–NO! I’m not sure. Hey!
. (strong again) We should follow – HIM!
(SUPERHERO points straight at SOLDIER with a huge pose.
MARGIE swings her adoring pose to look at SOLDIER.
SOLDIER cocks his head to the side.)
SOLDIER I’m thinking I’d like to take a break,
. and play more cards. I have served my
. tableland well. It’s time I get
. a big “thank you” and a long R and R.
NURSE (balks at SOLDIER and retorts with sarcasm)
. Well then, THANK YOU. And what about me?
. I have served everyone - just as much.
SUPERHERO Okay! Then, we could follow... (looks around)
. Nanny Carrie Bobkins.
. 17
(SUPERHERO points out NANNY, who is busy with BABY.
BABY wants to keep crawling over to the card table.)
NANNY No! Baby, nooo.
(BABY stops for a second, then crawls a bit,
looking behind as if teasing.)
NANNY Baby! Nooo.
HERO See how nurturing she is?
(BABY stops for a second, then crawls a bit,
looking behind, teasing again. NANNY gets very angry.)
NANNY Baby! No! Aw, forget it. Let Baby do what
. it wants. I don’t care. (walks up to PUPPET)
. YOU are RIGHT. From now on, I AM ONLY going
. to think about MYSELF.
(NANNY grabs the card box [if wooden]. If PUPPET is
standing on it, she first pushes him off of it.
Sitting down on the card box NANNY pulls a teacup
and teapot from her carpetbag and pours herself some tea.
Sipping the pretend tea, she then pulls out a plastic
book to read, ignoring everyone around her. CLOWN tries
to put the iPod back in his ears, and looks at MARGIE.)
CLOWN Can you help me with these?
MARGIE No! I cannot.
CLOWN But - why not?
MARGIE I’m just not feeling it right now. I may
. never feel it ever again. Huh, because NOW,
. I just don’t care.
(CLOWN yelps. CLOWN turns to NURSE, who turns around.)
NURSE Nor I.
CLOWN Who’s going to fix me when I break down?
(CLOWN turns to BEN who holds up a ‘stop’ hand.) 18
BEN DO NOT bother me with such trivial matters!
. Or even emergencies. I am now going to try
. climbing up - to the very top of the
. corporate ladder and make tons of moolah.
(BEN becomes absorbed with his cell phone, calculator and
briefcase. After getting over his pain, CLOWN spends
a long time trying to get the cord into his ears.
BABY is now at the card table where the “men” try to play
cards again. SHE grabs a card and holds it up.
SUPERHERO swoops over, waving his hands back and forth.)
SUPERHERO Baby, no-no. No-no, Baby.
COWBOY (looks up) Now listen here, Baby, lay ‘em
. cards down nice and slow like, ya hear!
(BABY hides behind card, then pulls it down to peek
over it.)
BABY Boooo.
COWBOY Aw, now ain’t that cute.
BABY (giggles, hides then peeks) Boooooooo.
INDIAN Okay, that’s enough.
BABY (giggles, hides then peeks) P-boooo.
(BABY giggles then hides again, and peeks again.
BABY just looks and waits for the INDIAN to say it.)
BABY Pee?... Pee?...
INDIAN No, look... ahhhh, okay, “peek-a-boo”.
BABY (joining INDIAN) Booo. (giggles)
SOLDIER Baby! I don’t want to have to tell you again:
. put the card down on the table. I repeat,
. put the card down on the table.
BABY (hides & peeks again) Booooo... 19
COWBOY Look’a’here, it’s just ain’t cute anymore,
. baby!
INDIAN Ah, that does it. I fold. I’m finished.
. I can’t take anymore of this insanity.
(INDIAN stands up to leave. COWBOY slumps his head
down into his arms, resting on the big box.)
SOLDIER (to INDIAN) That’s it? Where are you going,
. soldier? You’re going to just let some baby
. ruin a good game of cards? Hey,
. I’m talking to you. I want to play cards!
(INDIAN waves off SOLDIER. Finding a piece of floor,
he swings his plastic tom-toms from his back and beats
out a rhythm. BABY now grabs the card with her hands,
right at the top, and goes to suck on the top of the card
where her hands are, so it just looks like she is
sucking on the card.)
SOLDIER No-no-no-chewing on the cards.
. You’re making it all soggy.
(BABY giggles and keeps sucking on the card.
COWBOY raises his head and looks around helplessly.)
COWBOY Hey, where can a cowboy get a plastic
. hamburger around here? How’s about it,
. Margie? Be a sweet lil’gal–
MARGIE Get it yourself. I’M – (thinking)
. going to the spa!
NURSE THAT sounds great! What is a spa?
MARGIE I have no idea. I just heard the word – SPA -
. and I liked the sound of it. So I’m going –
. And I’m just going to make it up as I go.
BEN (looks up) And just how much is THAT
. going to cost?
MARGIE Who cares. I deserve it. 20
BEN But we have a budget! We NEED more MOOOLAH.
(BEN puts his head back down to his very busy work.)
NURSE Oh, lighten up. We’re looking for the spa.
(COWBOY plunks down beside INDIAN and looks at him.)
COWBOY A bonfire would sure be nice.
INDIAN And you’re expecting me to make it?
. I always make it.
COWBOY Fine!
(COWBOY goes to the toy shelf and pulls out a plastic
bonfire. Carrying it over, he drops it to the ground.)
COWBOY There!
(COWBOY puts his hat over his eyes and leans against
the index card box. SOLDIER sits down to join them
at the fire, and tries to warm his hands.)
SOLDIER Not much heat from this thing.
COWBOY (practically) It’s plastic.
(MARGIE and NURSE link arms and roam the stage aimlessly,
holding an inane conversation, like the gibberish-talk
kids would do while playing.)
MARGIE So I hear that Susie got a gerbil
. and named it Matimba. She accidentally
. let it go on purpose, and it got lost
. in the house. Her mommy got terr’bly mad.
. So she had to clean up whole her room.
NURSE You don’t say.
MARGIE Matimba was under her bed - IN HER SOCK.
. And Matimba had five hundred thousand babies –
. AND EVERYONE’S NAME WAS BOO-BOO-DAH.
. 21
NURSE You don’t say.
COWBOY (tilts hat back up) I ain’t gitting any
. sleep with the prattlin’ on of them
. women-folk!
MARGIE And I heard that Cowboy has been taking
. dancing lessons from Ballerina. Apparently
. he has three left feet, all have the name
. BOO-BOO-DAH.
NURSE You don’t say.
(At the mention of BALLERINA, she poses with her hands
on her hips and squints at the girls.)
COWBOY (rolls his eyes) Well then, I think it’s
. time for a song.
(COWBOY takes the plastic guitar from his back and sings.
INDIAN slowly gets into the song and taps along.)
SONG #4: “HOMESTEAD OKAY RANCH”
Sung to “Winter Wonderland”
COWBOY (singing, real twang’y and yodel’y)
. (ch.#1) Down the hill, there are horses
. and a whole, lot of crocuses.
. I wish it were mine, it would be mighty fine
. op-er-a-ting Homestead O-kay Ranch.
. (ch.#2) There are deer, and coyote,
. buffalo, and prairie doggie.
. Love them animals, even them there cam-els
. they’re all there at-the Homestead O-kay Ranch
. (verse) In the meadow we can build a bonfire,
. sing em songs which help attract a wolf choir.
. We can wail all night with our harmonicas,
. and anything can join us if they-can howl
. (howl and swoop up and octave)
NANNY Please, somebody, make it stop!
COWBOY (singing ch.#1) Later on, we’ll perspire
MARGIE There’s MORE??? 22
COWBOY (singing) as we work – posting wire...
(SUPERHERO jumps up to COWBOY and strikes a pose.)
SUPERHERO STOP! In the name of humanity!
COWBOY (singing)
. The time that we take,
. for the fences that we make
. will keep all the critters safe and sound.
(SOLDIER grabs the guitar and throws it into the fire.
INDIAN hugs his tom-toms so no one will grab them away.
EVERYONE freezes and watches for what will happen next.
Nothing else happens to the guitar.)
COWBOY It’s plastic.
RAGGIRL You could have just asked him nicely.
BALLERINA Who are you, the politeness police?
RAGBOY This could have been handled differently,
. is all we’re saying.
NANNY We’re handling things JUST FINE.
(RAGGIRL sadly pulls RAGBOY away and they continue
playing with CAT and DOG. (NANNY calmly goes back
to her tea and her book. COWBOY starts to reach
for his guitar, but he draws back as BALLERINA leaps
over the fire and guitar.)
COWBOY Careful little lady, you might just burn
. your leotards.
BALLERINA Oo, a plastic fire. I’m so scared!
(MARGIE and NURSE continue their spa trek.)
MARGIE Oh, and did you hear what Ballerina did?
. She was dancing for the queen, when she
. ripped her leotards and tooted.
. 23
NURSE You don’t say.
(BALLERINA’S jaw drops and she folds her arms in anger.)
BALLERINA Did not! Did not!
(MARGIE and NURSE ignore BALLERINA, so BALLERINA begins
to stalk the girls.)
BALLERINA Did not!
(PUPPET approaches COWBOY, INDIAN and SOLDIER coyly.)
PUPPET Say, do you guys want to make
. a long rope with the strings that
. I cut off? Or – something?
COWBOY (raises his hat and stares) Nope.
(PUPPET stands their awkwardly trying to think of
a new angle, as COWBOY pulls his guitar from the bonfire
and wipes it down. RAGBOY looks at RAGGIRL.)
RAGBOY See? He’s up to something, and I sense
. trouble. What do you think? Shouldn’t
. we say anything?
RAGGIRL I don’t know. For now everything’s okay.
. And no one has asked for our advice.
RAGBOY Really?
RAGGIRL Nothing tragic has happened. Just minor
. disagreements.
RAGBOY I still see trouble looming, though.
RAGGIRL (waving it off) Ah, just leave it alone
. already!
RAGBOY Why? Do you think I’m a busybody?
RAGGIRL Did I just SAY that?
(RAGBOY and RAGGIRL push each other around a bit. 24
CAT and DOG see the fight and join in with a pounce.
PUPPET watches SOLDIER as he takes a plastic
walkie-talkie out of his backpack.)
SOLDIER Oner-two-four-niner-twenty-seventy-hundred –
. I am NOT reporting for duty. Because,
. I am still on R and R. I repeat, I am still
. on R and R and NOT available for re-con.
PUPPET (eyes SOLDIER and thinks of something)
. I bet you can’t show me any good knots.
SOLDIER (puts away walkie-talkie) Bet I can!
(PUPPET smiles, feeling he might be getting somewhere
now. PUPPET rubs his hands together eagerly.)
PUPPET Oh really. Prove it!
SOLDIER I don’t have to prove nothing.
PUPPET (confidence deflates as his ploy fails)
. So you’re not even going to show me?
SOLDIER Not right now. I’ve got R and R.
(Unsuccessful, PUPPET turns away and snaps his fingers.
PUPPET finds a spot to pace and think by the edge of the
stage. He stops to down again to gage the height.
PUPPET scratches his head, then starts feeling anxious.
MARGIE and NURSE reach a spot where BALLERINA has stopped
to stretch and blocks the path for MARGIE and NURSE.
Her flying leg just misses MARGIE.)
BALLERINA Oops. You should be careful.
MARGIE You did that on purpose.
NURSE We’ll get you for this.
(BALLERINA now pretends to file her nails and chew gum.)
BALLERINA That right, Nursey-pooh? Do y’have it in you?
(BALLERINA blows on her nails in the direction 25
of NURSE.)
NURSE You won’t know where, or when... but you
. should know HOW – it ain’t going to be pretty.
BALLERINA (sarcastically) Oh, I’m so scared. Brr.
(BALLERINA backs up into CLOWN. The bump sends CLOWN’S
nose rolling.)
CLOWN Oh no! My nose! There goes my nose!
(BALLERINA, NURSE and MARGIE all laugh hysterically.)
(CAT starts to chase the nose, and DOG starts to chase
the CAT. They begin to bark and hiss at each other.)
CLOWN It’s not funny! I didn’t do that to be funny!
. Isn’t anybody going to help me?
MARGIE (ending her laugh) Oooo, no, we are busy
. going to the spa.
BALLERINA I’m going to the spa, too!
NURSE No you’re not.
BALLERINA Am too!
MARGIE Not!
BALLERINA Too!
(MARGIE and NURSE push BALLERINA away, but BALLERINA
follows right on their heels obstinately.
CLOWN wrestles the DOG and CAT for his nose.
RAGBOY and RAGGRIL try to help, but it ends up looking
more like a pushing match. MARGIE, NURSE and BALLERINA
come to the spot where MARGIE left her magazine.)
MARGIE Here we are. At the spa.
(NURSE watches MARGIE closely to copy everything she
does. MARGIE sits down and sighs luxuriously.)
. 26
MARGIE Isn’t this nice?
NURSE (copying) This is so nice.
(BALLERINA is a bit puzzled.)
BALLERINA What do we do?
MARGIE Anything. It’s a spa.
NURSE Anything. It’s a spa.
(BALLERINA shrugs and finds the magazine.)
MARGIE (casually) That’s my magazine.
NURSE That’s her magazine.
(BALLERINA sits down to study it anyway. NANNY gets up
with her book and cup of tea and walks over
to BALLERINA.)
NANNY Hey, could I trade my book for your magazine?
. I’ve been staring at the same two pages
. for a very long time.
(BALLERINA puts her hands on her hips as NANNY just makes
the switch anyway. Then they both study their “reading”
material intently.)
BALLERINA What’s the difference?!
NANNY Uh, this one is pink, and mine is red.
(BALLERINA looks back and forth between book and
magazine.)
BALLERINA Well, I’m not finished with the pink one yet.
(NANNY and BALLERINA keep fighting and switching the
reading materials. BABY has started throwing cards
around, which land on BEN. BEN tries to ignore this,
but becomes irritated and glares back at BABY.)
BEN This is going to cost you, Baby! 27
. These things cost money, and you are going
. to pay. I demand compensation.
(BABY giggles and starts to lightly tap BEN on the head
with a card. BEN grits his teeth and tries to work.
PUPPET tiptoes around and sees the big wardrobe box,
which says “Margie’s Accessories”. Opening it, he begins
to pull out things, scattering them everywhere.
BEN senses this and looks up. Leaping up, BEN now tries
to stop PUPPET.)
BEN Wait-wait – all of these have been itemized,
. and documented – and-and – you are destroying
. my empire. (gasp) There’s so much pressure.
. I can’t take it anymore. I think I’m
. going to go crazy.
(PUPPET freezes, staring at BEN. BEN finally slaps
his forehead, throwing his arms up in surrender.)
BEN Ahhhhhh, what AM I doing? I SHOULD be having
. fun. JUST fun. Forget this. Forget about
. doing ANY work. Any work at all. From now on
. I’m JUST all about the fun.-Yeah!
(BEN looks around and sees that BABY is now throwing
the cards at SOLDIER, COWBOY and SUPERHERO who have
taken cover behind the index card box. INDIAN paces
back and forth angrily.)
INDIAN Hey, superhero, can’t you stop this baby?
SUPERHERO (cowering) No, I’m scared. I mean, it’s not
. my jurisdiction.
BEN (picks up a card and yells) Kowabunga!
. Business Benjamin is gone! Just call me -
. Surfer Ben! Surf’s up everyone!
(BEN kicks off his shoes, and loosens his necktie
so he can put it up around his forehead like a sweatband.
BEN then jumps on top of the card and pretends
to surf.)
SOLDIER Well, we’re losing the war, boys. 28
. We keep losing cards. And Ben – has
. finally lost his marbles.
COWBOY We had MARBLES?!
INDIAN Figure of speech!
(PUPPET unfreezes and goes back to the wardrobe. Finding
a scarf, he excitedly stretches it out to see how long
it is. He then runs to the edge of the stage to look
down. Then he runs back to the scarf to think.
MARGIE sees this and jumps up.)
MARGIE Hey! What are you doing with my stuff?
PUPPET Well, why do YOU get a bunch of stuff?
MARGIE I’m Accessory Margie! That’s why!
(Finally getting his nose back, CLOWN walks over to
the wardrobe and finds the mirror that has tinfoil
for the mirror part. He tries to put his nose back on.)
CLOWN This is a horrible mirror.
BEN (yells out) It’s your face, dude!
CLOWN I have a flat, silver face? This
. is horrible!
(MARGIE marches over to CLOWN and grabs the mirror away,
and then the iPod.)
MARGIE But – it’s mine! And so is this!
CLOWN You – used to always share.
MARGIE Well, my SELF has told me NOT to share.
. (sees the scarf) Oh, that’s where
. that went.
(MARGIE grabs the scarf from PUPPET and flings it around
her neck.)
PUPPET But– I neee– I– would liii– I DESERVE 29
. to have that scarf! If-if it weren’t for me,
. you would not be listening to your SELF.
. You’d still be sharing all your stuff with
. everyone. See? I helped you. And NOW
. you should help me.
MARGIE (slyly studies PUPPET) WHYYY would you
. even want this scarf? I mean, it doesn’t
. even go with your outfit!
SOLDIER (ducks a flying card as he approaches PUPPET)
. Hey! You there! And just why would you want
. me to show you how to make knots? Huh?
COWBOY Yeah, what exactly are you up to, there,
. mister?
PUPPET Wha – ah – nothing.
(CAT and DOG have strayed away from RAGBOY and RAGGIRL
and get into the strings and play around.)
PUPPET Hey, get out of there. Get off my strings!
NANNY I thought you said you didn’t WANT those
. anymore?
PUPPET Well, sure, but ah, they’re still MINE!
RAGBOY But if you’re not using them –
RAGGIRL Yeah, maybe one of us could use them.
. Cats love to play with string, you know.
PUPPET No! I ah – (to CAT and DOG) Git, git.
. Shoo. Look, you’re making a tangled mess.
. Just look what you’re doing!
(Seeing CLOWN’S nose, PUPPET grabs it from his face
and waves it in front of the CAT and DOG.)
PUPPET Here, you go – look - look what I have –
. look what I have.
(PUPPET throws the nose away and CAT and DOG chase 30
after it. CLOWN touches he face where his nose
used to be.)
CLOWN Hey! Why’d you do that for?
(CLOWN starts to cry. Then BABY hears the crying
and joins in.)
INDIAN I can’t take this anymore! (to PUPPET)
. Look what you have started.
PUPPET Don’t all look at me. I’m not responsible.
BEN You were the one who told us to – go with
. the flow, dude!
NURSE You said we should listen to what our
. SELVES wanted to do.
COWBOY (stares straight at NANNY) Could someone
. get this baby to take a nap or something?
NANNY Don’t look at me. YOU do it.
COWBOY Aw man! Well, if I get the baby, could
. someone at least git the clown to stop
. crying?
(COWBOY grabs NANNY’S carpetbag and rummages through it.)
NANNY Hey!
(COWBOY pulls out a bottle and dares NANNY to take
it away. NANNY waves him off.)
NANNY I don’t need that anyway.
(COWBOY carefully approaches BABY like she was some
animal, and tries to lure it to the back using
the bottle.)
COWBOY Come on, baby, come on. Look what I have
. for you. Come over here. We’ll make a nice
. little corner for you. That’s a good, baby.
. 31
(Seeing the bottle, BABY slowly wobbles and teeters
toward COWBOY, who keeps inching backwards to a far
corner. COWBOY sets it down on the floor and runs.
INDIAN finally grabs a card and hands it to CLOWN.)
INDIAN Here – go fish.
CLOWN (takes card and studies it curiously)
. Oh! Lookie, pictures.
(BABY reaches the bottle and grabs hold of it to drink.
Her eyes grow heavy, and she slowly tips over.
Her head rests on the big tube of glue. COWBOY tiptoes
away from BABY.)
BEN (back to surfing) Kawabunga!
COWBOY Sshhh.
BABY (deadpan) Wah. Da-da. Da-DA? Da-DA?
(COWBOY gives BEN a dirty look and goes back to BABY.)
COWBOY Wha?-aw-nooooo, go to sleep, baby.
BABY La-la-la-la...
COWBOY Go back to sleep.
BABY LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!
COWBOY Oh, you want me to sing?
MARGIE Oh no, please no.
(COWBOY takes guitar from his back and starts to sing.)
SONG #5: “OH BABY DOLL”
Sung to “O Christmas Tree”
COWBOY (singing)
. Oh baby doll, sweet baby doll
. Oh please, we want you back asleep.
MARGIE I can’t tolerate another solo from him. 32
COWBOY (singing)
. Oh baby doll, sweet baby doll
. I hope you don’t make one-more peep.
NURSE I don’t know which is worse, his singing or–
(BABY cries a big wahhhh. COWBOY glares at the girls.)
COWBOY (singing)
. Please shut your eyes and shut your mouth!
ALL join in (singing)
. You should be sleeping nice and tight.
. Oh baby doll, sweet baby doll
. Please stay that way till morning light.
ALL (singing tag slower and quieter)
. Please shut your eyes and shut your mouth!
. You should be sleeping nice and tight.
. Oh baby doll, sweet baby doll
. Please stay that way till morning light.
(EVERYONE quietly waits to make sure BABY is asleep.
BABY starts snoring loudly, and everyone sighs.)
RAGBOY Wow, we did something together.
RAGGIRL It kind of felt good. Right?
NURSE Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t be SO selfish.
. Helping each other isn’t such a bad thing.
(While ALL congratulate each other, PUPPET sneaks two
other scarves from the wardrobe and ties them together.
SOLDIER sees PUPPET testing the knot for strength.)
SOLDIER Hold up! Attention men! We still have
. this mission to complete.
NANNY Yes, we have a mystery to be solved.
(ALL turn toward SOLDIER and PUPPET. PUPPET tries
to hide the scarves.)
. 33
MARGIE Exactly, why does he think he can just
. take my stuff?
BALLERINA Actually, I was wondering why YOU get SOOO
. much stuff. I want some of your stuff too.
MARGIE Some of you others have stuff.
NURSE You have WAY more stuff than we do.
NANNY (hiding her carpetbag behind her back)
. Yes, that’s right.
INDIAN Look, why don’t we take turns picking out
. the stuff that each of us want.
COWBOY Sounds fair.
INDIAN Me first. I pick the deck of mi-ni-a-ture
. cards.
SOLDIER That’s not fair! There is more than one card
. in that deck.
MARGIE Yeah, that’s like – many things in one.
BEN THEN what am I going to use as a surfboard?
. Huh? That’s ALL I want. A card.
. Just ONE card. Uno carrrrdo!
(The MEN continue to silently argue over the cards.
While ALL are fighting, PUPPET ties his strings and
the scarves together end to end. MARGIE has picked up
the mirror, and the WOMEN begin to fight over that.)
BALLERINA Hey, I want that.
NANNY I need it.
MARGIE But it’s mine.
(NURSE takes a brush and they all start fighting for it.)
NURSE I get the brush then.
. 34
BALLERINA No, I want that.
NANNY I need it.
MARGIE But it’s mine.
(During the arguments and the song, PUPPET loops one end
of his long rope around the index card box and pulls
the other end toward the edge of the stage.)
SONG #6: “THIS IS MINE”
Sung to “Jingle Bells”
RAGBOY & GIRL (singing verse)
. Don’t be so selfish!
BALLERINA (singing)
. You shouldn’t have everything!
MARGIE (singing)
. That is just not true-,
. I am missing one pink shoe!
CLOWN (singing)
. I want those tom-toms!
SOLDIER (singing)
. I want that red book!
BEN (singing)
. Give me that weird radio!
(RAGBOY and RAGGIRL shake their heads at the chaos.
EVERYONE except PUPPET glares at them.)
RAGBOY & GIRL (singing, finishing the verse)
. Don’t give us that weird look!
ALL (shouting)
. Oh!
MARGIE (singing chorus)
. This is mine!
NANNY (singing) 35
. I want that!
NURSE (singing)
. You should give me these!
ALL WOMEN (singing – except for MARGIE & RAGGIRL)
. It’s not fair
. You have way more
. Than-what I think you need!
ALL (shouting)
. Hey!
COWBOY (singing)
. This is mine!
INDIAN (singing)
. I want that!
(CAT and DOG have a stand off over the baby’s rattle.
DOG barks the tune as realistically as possible.
Because CAT and DOG are not mic’ed, someone else
could turn their backs to the audience and do this
for them, they just have to lip-synch/act it out.)
DOG (barking the tune)
. ar-ar-ar-ar-
CAT -MEOW!
ALL (singing – except for CLOWN & PUPPET)
. Maybe there is something more -
. UP your puffy sleeve!
(ALL end up pointing directly at CLOWN, who sheepishly
hugs his arms and protects his sleeve. PUPPET drops
the rope over the edge of the stage and watches it
go down - like it is a long way down. SUPERHERO jumps
to attention and announces loudly...)
SUPERHERO DANGER! I sense DANGER!
(SOLDIER looks around and sees PUPPET ready to go down
his rope.)
. 36
SOLDIER Halt!
COWBOY (saunters up to PUPPET) All right there,
. bucko, wha’cha think yer do’in?
NANNY Why are you bothering to stop HIM?
. He’s just a troublemaker.
SOLDIER Still, he tied some terrible knots here with
. these strings. The knots will never hold.
. And that box definitely will NOT stay put.
. He would fall - to certain catastrophe.
(SOLDIER and HERO grab the arms of the PUPPET and
pull him back onto the stage.)
PUPPET (looks up, wondering) So, even though I’m
. a troublemaker, you still saved me?
SOLDIER I guess, we did.
RAGBOY (to everyone) Again, didn’t that feel GOOD
. doing something for someone else?
COWBOY Boy howdy’, it sure did.
SOLDIER Get up, there, puppet.
(SOLDIER and HERO help PUPPET to his feet.)
RAGGIRL So let me get this straight, why is puppet
. a troublemaker?
MARGIE He got everyone to become selfish.
RAGGIRL But he only suggested it. Didn’t we all
. decide to be selfish all by ourselves?
RAGBOY This is true. Puppet just gave us the idea,
. we chose for ourselves - to act selfishly.
BEN Hmm, these rag people have a point.
PUPPET There, see, I’m not the bad guy here.
. 37
RAGBOY But you DID try to manipulate all of us.
(COWBOY tries to understand.)
COWBOY (straining to understand)
. My, we’ve bin using mighty big words
. round here lately!
RAGGIRL The puppet was trying to pull YOUR strings.
(DOLLS slowly start to realize.)
NANNY Oh! I see. (to PUPPET) So you didn’t
. want anybody to control YOU, but YOU
. wanted to control all of US.
MARGIE You just wanted US to SERVE YOU?!
(All FEMALE dolls put their hands on their hips.)
NURSE Weren’t we doing that anyway? I mean,
. before this whole crazy mess all started?
MARGIE (haughty) Well! Now I don’t WANT to serve
. you! Or anybody else for that matter!
. What if it’s all just selfishness?
. I do not want to serve anybody who’s selfish.
RAGGIRL Ah, but then YOU’RE being selfish. And maybe
. somebody who really needs help, won’t get it.
CLOWN I’m so confused.
RAGBOY Think about it, when did you have the most
. fun? When everyone was being selfish,
. or when we all worked together and shared?
CLOWN Duh! When – we all worked together and
. shared.
SOLDIER That IS right. I was made – WE were all
. made – with a purpose. Without a purpose,
. there isn’t any reason.
BALLERINA Being selfish is just like going in 38
. circles. Over and over, and over again.
. The same meaningless things.
INDIAN Yeah, talk about being boring. We ended up
. just – just sitting around a plastic bonfire.
PUPPET Well, there’s nothing wrong with doing THAT.
. But at least it was YOUR choice. If children
. are playing with you, you can STILL wind up
. just sitting around a plastic bonfire!
RAGBOY But don’t you see? If it’s just MY choice,
. that’s it. That’s all there is to that.
. But if I choose to let a child play with me,
. and THEY put me beside a plastic bonfire,
. I’m NOT JUST sitting beside a plastic bonfire-
. I’m ALSO bringing JOY to the CHILD –
BALLERINA AND the toy maker!
(PUPPET makes a sour face.)
RAGGIRL (to PUPPET) Are you still going to leave us?
PUPPET Well, ahhhh...
COWBOY Listen, sonny, life out in the wilderness
. ain’t no picnic, ya’know.
HERO It’s dangerous.
NANNY And lonely.
MARGIE And what exactly are you going to do?
. I mean, what can you do out there that
. you can’t already do here?
BALLERINA Or in some warm home of a child?
(BABY wakes up and crawls or totters over to the group,
holding onto her bottle. Plopping down, she sits there
and listens nicely.)
BABY Goo-goo-gaaaah.
. 39
(NANNY finds the rattle and hands it to BABY.
BABY drops the bottle and clasps the rattle with
both hands happily.)
PUPPET You do make some excellent points.
RAGBOY It’s almost morning. You need to decide.
PUPPET (thinking) I – think - I’ll stay!...
. Yes! I’m going to stay!
(ALL cheer. NURSE sees the string. MARGIE sees
the mess.)
NURSE We need to get your strings back on
. you then. If that’s what you want?
PUPPET Yes. I do want that.
MARGIE And we need to clean up this mess!
CLOWN I am STILL missing my nose!
SUPERHERO Putting my laser ray nose-detector eyes on
. and scanning the tableland.
(While SUPERHERO races around the stage looking for
the nose, NURSE and SOLDIER tie the strings onto PUPPET.
SUPERHERO finds and brings the nose back with
a huge pose.)
SUPERHERO I have found the nose!
(NURSE takes the nose and approaches CLOWN.)
NURSE So why exactly did the glue NOT work when
. the toy maker put your nose on?
CLOWN Oh, it’s not his fault. The dog was
. licking my face right before the toy maker
. came in.
NURSE Well, let’s make sure it stays dry, then.
(DOG comes over trying to lick CLOWN’S face. 40
CLOWN gasps with fear. BABY shakes her rattle
to get the dog’s attention, then throws it aside,
playfully crying for it back. DOG fetches and returns
the rattle to BABY. They keep each other occupied
with this. BALLERINA picks up a card and fans CLOWN’S
face. NURSE and HERO take the nose over to the
tube of glue. NURSE takes the cap off.)
NURSE I’m taking the cap off. Now, very lightly,
. step on the tube to squeeze out the glue.
Careful, careful, we don’t want too much.
. This glue is VERY powerful stuff.
(Pretending to get a dab of glue onto the nose,
NURSE rushes the nose over to CLOWN and puts it back
onto his face.)
NURSE There. All better. Good as new!
. Do not touch! (to BALLERINA)
. Keep up the good work.
(BALLERINA keeps fanning CLOWN’S face to dry the nose.
NURSE goes back to helping the PUPPET with his strings.
BEN puts his shoes back on, fixes up his tie, and begins
to keep track of the inventory as it is put away.
MARGIE gives directions to NURSE, RAGGIRL and NANNY
as they put her accessories back into the wardrobe.)
MARGIE Careful with that, that’s my favorite purse!
. You can put it there with my clutch bags.
(SOLDIER now walks over and directs the card’s cleanup
crew of HERO, RAGBOY, COWBOY and INDIAN.)
SOLDIER Operation alert. Be on the lookout for
. missing cards. There are still missing cards.
HERO I see one!
(SOLDIER rolls the cup back into place.)
SONG #7: “HELP OURSELVES”
Sung to “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
. Following Bing Crosby word order.
. 41
NURSE (singing)
. Help yourself and choose to let us help you,
. mend your broken strings.
BALLERINA (singing)
. Here’s your nose
. with every little thing it brings.
ALL (singing)
. Help ourselves, by helping ev’rybody,
. give instead of take.
. Reaching out,
. with lots of tender loving care
SOLDIER There’s still one card missing. I repeat,
. there is still one missing.
(BALLERINA hands the last card to INDIAN.)
BALLERINA (singing, staring the verse off)
. Here you go –
INDIAN (singing)
. Thank you very much.
(INDIAN puts the card into the box. MARGIE hands SOLDIER
the lid to the box so SOLDIER can close it up.)
MARGIE (singing)
. Happy to give you a hand.
(DOG returns the rattle to BABY. NANNY pats DOG’S head.)
NANNY (singing)
. Faithful friends,
. who come through for us
(PUPPET tries to walk and sees CAT ready to pounce on
his strings. PUPPET bends down to play with the CAT.)
PUPPET (singing)
. Who still love us when-we cause-a fuss.
(BABY has just been swaying to the music up until now.)
. 42
ALL (singing, chorus)
. When we work, together it’s the most fun
BABY (singing very loudly and joyfully)
. Dah dah la GOO GOO!
ALL (singing)
. And see now, the work we have is all done.
. We’re ready now to do what we-were made to do.
(A last runaround check, then they all dash back
into the exact same position as they were in the very
beginning to match with the small workbench.
DOLLS sing, stiffly from their positions, waiting.)
ALL (singing tag)
. We’re ready now to do what we-were made to do.
(Realizing they still need to cover up, SOLDIER, HERO,
COWBOY and INDIAN pull the cover/drapes over top again.
The tag can be sung one more time. LIGHTS turn off.)
STAGE RIGHT
(The lights go on and TOY MAKER leads CLIENT in.)
MAKER How is the little girl doing?
CLIENT Much better. Thank you for remembering.
(So the congregation can’t see, TOY MAKER can have
the puppet hidden in his smock. As he removes the sheet
that covers the dolls, he can then turn his back on the
congregation, and slip the puppet out of his smock
to hold it out as he comments.)
MAKER Why, here’s the little guy. All 16 dolls
. are here! And ready to bring all the
. little children some Christmas joy.
(TOY MAKER picks up a box/gift bag from the floor beside
the workbench and gently places the dolls into it.
Picking up the clown, he checks the nose.)
MAKER Ah, good. The nose is on nice and 43
. firm now.
(TOY MAKER continues to place dolls into the box/bag.)
CLIENT Oh, how much do I owe you?
MAKER Nothing. Nothing at all.
CLIENT But - surely I can give you something?
. You’ve probably spent hours making
. each one unique.
MAKER And it was well worth it. THIS –
. is what gives me great joy. Really!
. You have no idea.
(TOY MAKER holds the box/bag out for CLIENT to take.)
CLIENT Well, thank you so much.
. I know the children will really
. appreciate your generosity. Thanks again.
MAKER My pleasure. Merry Christmas!
CLIENT Merry Christmas.
(CLIENT and TOY MAKER exit.)