. all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
. refer to www.church-skits.com
AD MEN - written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC: marriage
SCRIPTURE: Eph.5:21-31
Style: comedy/conversation: HUSBAND and WIFE
. compete in the boardroom to come up
. with the "perfect ad" campaign
. for the perfect couple get-away
Cast: BOSS, WIFE, HUSBAND
Set & Props: table, 3 chairs
SCRIPT:
(BOSS sits at the head of a table. WIFE and HUSBAND sit
at either side.)
BOSS So, our clients want the best ad campaign
. for “Get-Away-Resort’s perfect vacations.”
. They would like us to use the perfect marriage
. as their platform. As you two are married
. to each other, we thought you’d be the best
. employees to work on this project. AND,
. you’re both Christians, right? That MUST mean
. you have an extra “leg-up” on everyone.
(BOSS does an air-quote with “leg-up”.)
HUSBAND Hmm, well, let’s see here. PERFECT marriage,
. you say? And what sort of retreats?
BOSS They have all sorts of packages: health spas,
. beach and boating resorts, golfing retreats -
(Throughout the skit, both HUSBAND and WIFE do air-quotes
wherever there are quotation marks.)
WIFE Oh, I’ve got one! The “perfect” Get-Away-Resort
. GOLFING retreat for every married couple:
. golfing under par – good;
. getting a personal best - better;
. “beating” your husband in a game – priceless.
BOSS Hmm, well, sounds a little aggressive and –
. competitive, doesn’t it?
HUSBAND Oh, I have a better idea!
(HUSBAND sits up straight and ready for action.)
. 2
HUSBAND Get-Away-Resorts: the perfect “place”
. to get married. Because -
. getting married - is good;
. marrying a man who has a job - is better;
. but marrying a man who earns “enough” money
. to even take her to a place like this
. because he has to satisfy a greedy wife
. who has a big time shoe-shopping-habit
. and loves only the “finest”
. fanciest things – priceless.
WIFE Hey! That’s getting just a little too personal,
. don’t you think? Okay, so then how about:
. The perfect “Get-Away” Resort – where married
. couples can go “together” but stay apart.
. Wives can enjoy the lovely relaxing spa,
. while husbands can go fish and “get lost”
. at sea.
HUSBAND So that’s how you want to play? Then how about:
. The perfect Get-Away-“ONE-STOP”-Resort where
. you can have “everything” at your fingertips:
. marriage ministers, marriage counselors,
. or divorce lawyers – it’s all there and
. it’s all “your choice” at your convenience.
BOSS Ah, what’s going on? From the looks of things,
. you two do not have that perfect marriage.
. You don’t even have an “almost-good” one!
. I mean, this is so - contentious.
HUSBAND What? (dubiously) We love each other.
BOSS You do?
WIFE Surrree we love each other.
BOSS It sounds more like you both - love to fight.
HUSBAND AND win.
WIFE Hey, I didn’t say it.
HUSBAND You were thinking it – I just said it first.
(WIFE does a finger notch in the air.)
WIFE Score!
BOSS All right. Time out. Don’t you even 3
. respect each other? I mean, aren’t
. married couples – “one”? Like “one body”
. or something? Don’t you respect your own body?
. Aren’t you splitting yourself up?
. I really need you to work together, here.
WIFE We do work together.
BOSS No, I mean – work TOGETHER – as in
. “group effort” – as in “team” work.
WIFE (tiny voice, holds both index fingers up)
. Hoo-rah.
BOSS That’s it.
HUSBAND (bigger voice) HOO-RAH.
WIFE HOOOOOO-RAAAAH!!!!
BOSS Okay, now you’re just competing again.
WIFE I win.
BOSS (muttering) You look more like a loser.
HUSBAND Ha! That means I win. You’re the loser.
BOSS No, I mean, you BOTH look like losers.
. You’re a TEAM, remember? Togetherness –
. unity – and all that.
WIFE Hmmm, that seems to be a bit of a detail.
HUSBAND You’re right. We need to work on this.
BOSS Onnnn the campaign or on your marriage?
WIFE &
HUSBAND Both!!! Obviously.
BOSS Wow, you actually agreed on something.
HUSBAND (surprised) Ha, and it – actually
. felt really good.
WIFE It did. We WILL do this! We will
. get to work on this right away.
HUSBAND (to BOSS) You will have the best ad campaign 4
. ever. When we decide something and
. put our minds to it - it happens.
WIFE We’ve just never really decided to do THIS.
BOSS And here I thought you were - Christians.
. I thought that would make some kind
. of difference.
(HUSBAND and WIFE look at each other.)
HUSBAND Sadly, we’ve never really used that
. to our advantage either. Huh,
. what a bad testimony we’ve been.
. I mean, if there’s any time to be a good ad man,
. it’s for God’s kingdom, and –
. we have been terrible.
WIFE The worst. The word “divorce”
. shouldn’t even be in our vocabulary.
HUSBAND Christianity SHOULD make a difference.
. We have GOD on our team. I mean,
. WE are on God’s team.
WIFE And THAT is the winning team! My parents
. had a great marriage and always said,
. “The closer you both get to God, the closer
. you get to each other.”
HUSBAND My parents always told me that
. “God never fails - so I should make God
. the pillar and foundation of my marriage –
. so the marriage will never fail.”
BOSS Sounds like your parents had a few pretty good
. ad campaigns for marriage.
WIFE They did.
HUSBAND Okay, so what you say we - get back to the
. “drawing board”.
WIFE “Excellent idea.”
(After doing the final air-quotes, they exit together.)